Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I'm a Housewife

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. Except, right now, I feel like that window is on the 32nd floor of a high-rise and I've got to figure out how in the heck to climb up there.
It was with a heavy heart, a twisted wrist, and lots of tears that I resigned from my job two weeks ago. I may have bitched from time to time about nit-picky stuff, but overall, I really, really loved what I did for a living. I had been there for 4 1/2 years and had lots of high hopes for 2012. I was anxious to build on my two most important projects, interact with lots of cool new clients, train a new team member, and pocket an extra week of vacation. Instead, I'm now officially a (temporary) housewife who gets bored and sweeps leaves on the deck into piles and then has to use a snow shovel to get them over the sides into a wheelbarrow on the ground. (Expect more hilarity like that to ensue!)
My general manager said last week was the hardest (re: suckiest) week he's ever had in all the years he has been there. That speaks volumes coming from a man who was short on praise for anyone who did anything even remotely well. He mentioned several times to me as I was packing up my office that I had done a great job for the company and that he knew I would go on to succeed and do wonderful things elsewhere. It wasn't until he told me that he wished me the best of luck that I got teary-eyed. I had tried to be so stoic.
I will miss having a reason to get up every morning. I will miss the comraderie of the good friends I did make at work. I will miss that interaction with others. I will miss feeling like I have a purpose.
My good friend, Katie, sent me an email saying that it's "just a job" and I've got the "most important job in the world" on the horizon... being a mother. I need to focus on taking time to de-stress, plan for Bimmer's arrival, and love on my husband for awhile. And clean the house. Puff will not like it if I'm home all day and he comes home to a dirty house. And dinner. Preferably served by me in a slutty outfit and hooker heels. I better get right on that.
There will be a lot to think about (re: worry about) in the coming days, weeks, and months. Our lives are forever changed by this situation and we have to figure out a way to muddle through it. I am hopeful I will find the right opportunity at the right time. Yes, I am silently freaking out about the fact that I am 5 months pregnant and no one will want to hire me! On the flip side, Puff is ecstatic that I will have all my weekends free and clear for the foreseeable future. He's already searching for festivals, museums, and activities that we can jump into that we've never been able to do before. I'm glad somewhere there is a bright side to all of this. Because at times, I've been blinded by fear through all these tears.
I have faith it will be OK in the end. I just have to accept that I need to live in God's will for awhile and that He will take care of us in our time of need. Both Puff and I are so grateful for my family and all our friends who have been supportive and praying for us during this difficult time. It will turn around, and with you guys on our side, we'll get through it. There's brightness somewhere at the end of this dark cloud. There just has to be.

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