I could sit here and rack my brain trying to come up with a time in my life when I was more anxious, but it would never come. Sure, there were first days of school and jobs that put butterflies in my stomach. There have been first dates, second dates, break-ups. There have been pregnancy tests (some we wanted positive... some, not so much) and big projects and fingernail tapping next to the unringing telephone. But all of these moments pale in comparsion to the excitement and anxiousness I am currently feeling.
Why? Because tomorrow we find out the biggest news I have ever been wanting and needing to know in my entire life. (That's no exaggeration.)
Tomorrow, we find out if we are having a boy or a girl.
The perpetual planner in me is chomping at the bit here. I have been stalking Etsy and Pinterest and Land of Nod searching for the perfect crib and dresser and bedding. I find myself casually meandering through the baby section at Target whenever I am there, checking out the cute little clothes. My parents loaded us down with items at Christmas... but they were all gender neutral. (Well, except the rockstar bib and onesie. That's pretty boyish. But if we have a girl, she'll totally rock it.) I am ready to get some darn pink or blue up in here!
Or well... maybe not so literal with the color choices. Is it funny that both Puff and I tend to prefer boy baby clothes? Maybe that's the reason I'm all of a sudden thinking it's a boy. Or maybe I'm just thinking that to counter Puff's insistence that it's a girl, when he really wants a boy. Or at least that's what he thinks he wants. A friend of his (who has 5 kids, I think) recently told him not to freak out over one gender or the other... because in the end, you learn as you go and you're never more prepared for one gender more than the other. At least not with the first.
I've felt destined to be a mother my entire life, and finding out the sex of the baby just makes it all that closer to reality. We won't have to always refer to the kid as Bimmer; the baby will have an actual name. And while I know Puff is scared and timid about the whole becoming a father thing, I know that he will be a total rockstar dad. Or well, as much of a "rockstar" as you can be jamming to Lionel Ritchie at stoplights.