Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sound Bite Sunday

Every once and awhile, a song comes along that just speaks to you. When I first heard this song, I was driving along I-75 North heading home, on a trip minus The Ex. I'm not sure how long we had been dating but there had been discussions of a marriage and children. However, when I heard this song, I just knew something wasn't right with us. I was rushing to slow down. And while our relationship would go on for at least a year or more after I heard this song, I just never could get it out of my head. On that drive along I-75 that day, I kept hitting "replay" and listened to the song at least 10 times in a row, learning almost all the lyrics in rural Kentucky. I still rush to slow down sometimes, but I'm happy to know that when it comes to the big, important decisions in my life, I don't act that way much anymore. However, I still consider this my theme song.
 
Lost Realist by Trapt
 
My independence is calling my name
A doubtful voice divides my faith
My independence only hesitates
An unsure choice I can't embrace
You're gonna have to carve me,
Carve me from stone
Right to the bone or
I'll end up alone
Playing the role
Of someone in control

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

My indepednce is turning the page
Tomorrow comes we start to fade
My independence only complicates
It's not enough to meet half way

You'll have to carve me
Carve me from stone
Right to the bone
Or I'll end up alone
Playing the role
Of someone in control

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

I only keep what I give away
I only keep what I give away

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down
Everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down

Friday, October 29, 2010

Flashbulb Friday!



 
 
In the spirit of Halloween in a few days, I thought I would post the closest photo I've got to something "Halloween-ish." I absolutely love to photograph old cemeteries. They draw me in with their mystery and charm. One of my all-time favorites is at the Episcopal Church on St. Simon's Island, Georgia. There is no place more tranquil on earth to me than the north end of that island. I actually have branded myself for life with a tattoo that reminds me of there and the calmness it brings to my otherwise chaotic life. This photo was taken on a June 2008 girl's trip that couldn't have come at a more perfect time.
 
I find such beauty in the sadness of this place.  

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Yup - Still hate people

I recently posted about the epic struggle with soccer mom van-drivers who parked in our yard until we corralled them out. Well, their demon spawn have now become the problem.
 
Puff woke up having night terrors that kept us both awake one recent evening, thinking about ways to electrocute the bastards. Unfortunately, I have made him see the error of his ways and prompted him to not get arrested. (Selfish reasons, really... I still need his sperm.)
 
The basic gist of the whole conundrum is that now there are other kids whose demonic mothers don't love them enough to arrive ON TIME to pick them up from school, so the kids are forced to hang on the curb. Sometimes for up to an hour. Oh, but that curb just isn't enough enticement for their short attention spans. Nope. Cue the running through our yard, wrestling in our yard, wielding sticks at each other from our yard, climbing in the tree in our yard, and trampling through our plants in our yard. Cue my email to the principal of the school. Cue his jackass response saying they can't do anything.
 
WHAT THE FUCK?!? Yes... you can do something. You can send your sorry-ass SRO to the corner in front of our house and find out who these kids are and send letters home to their parents. The alternative? I contact the school board and inform them that you are doing nothing to help prevent the damage of personal property by your students. Students who are NOT EVEN ALLOWED to walk off campus to hitch a ride home. That's what a car line is for. And you can bet I'm saving every emailed response from the school so that when Johnny Dumbshit falls out of our tree and breaks his arm and tries to sue us, that I can be sure to point out that we tried to PREVENT this by getting the school involved and they didn't give a shit.
 
Cue the most exasperated and desperate sigh EVER!
 
It's moments like this when it's hard not to jump to conclusions and immediately start researching homes for sale in the neighborhood, contacting realtors to get their input on necessary home improvements to sell The Bungalow, and getting finances in order to move. After several recent hours (following the terse response from the middle school principal) that is what I spend my time doing. And after a few hours, I took another giant sigh and realized we're being ridiculous. The kids are just being kids and the reality is that they're not damaging as much as we probably thought. Not enough to pack up and move years before we had planned. We are just starting to make the house feel like a HOME, and we can't just throw that away for thousands of dollars in realtor fees and closing costs and moving trucks.
 
So the plan moving forward from today is to see if the school SRO follows up on an email we sent. If that doesn't pan out, we contact the school board so they know what is happening. And then, sometime next week, I am going to leave work early to come home to put on my best Suzy Homemaker impersonation and go kill those kids with kindness on the curb (perhaps wielding Halloween candy) and try to just talk to them and ask them to stop. And if that all doesn't work out, then we might just be installing an electric fence around the perimeter of our property to keep out the vermin.
 
It's pretty sad when REAL vermin would be easier to deal with!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Home, Sweet Home

It's funny how when you get married and are forced to start meshing not only your lives, but your STUFF, how your taste can suddenly change.
 
Puff had bought The Bungalow in 2005 and I made my grand entrance in July 2009. In the 15 months since I've lived here, we've done quite a lot: New roof, new office ceiling, new office paint, two closets redone & expanded, new bathroom plumbing, and our rusty shed was painted. Not to mention lots and lots of flowers planted around outside. But since we've gotten married, it's become time for me to officially put my stamp on the place and turn it from a bachelor pad, to a home where we can welcome a baby in a few years. (Although, I must say, he had the BEST bachelor pad that I've ever seen... so I had a good base to work with!)
 
Growing up, we always lived in brand-new, custom-designed homes. My parents liked modern furniture and modern things, so I inherited their taste. My apartments over the years have been full of black and silver furniture, lots of glass, and everything new and stream-lined. However, for years, I dreamt of having a "nautical house" so I collected everything I could find... sailboats, lighthouses, buoys, lanterns. Eventually, my "nautical house" in my head morphed into more of a "Pottery Barn Nantucket house" and I still liked those nautical touches, just more subdued, with khaki and pale blue walls dancing in my dreams. Cue The Bungalow. Not a khaki or pale blue wall in sight. Mustard yellow and cranberry walls... plus plaid wallpaper in the kitchen. Not to mention antiques and family heirlooms he wasn't willing to part with. Antiques? Such a foreign concept in my world!
 
But somehow, it's all working. And quite nicely, I must say. Yes, we have a modern glass & nickel table in the dining room and I have a "Pottery Barn Nantucket" lighthouse in our bedroom and seagull in the guest room, but we're working in harmony with the antique table & desk in the office and that plaid wallpaper. Since the wedding, we've been focusing on the master bedroom... new, grown-up furniture from Haverty's, in a dark wood to compliment everything else, yet paired with white nightstands from Ikea. Our World Market bookshelves are filling up with photo albums and travel books and collectibles from our honeymoon. And I've discovered http://www.etsy.com/, along with http://www.cb2.com/, which have become inspiration to find those final touches we desperately need.
 
While it's still a work in progress... we still have no art in the master bedroom and we need to replace the nightstand in the guest room... I'm pretty happy with what we've accomplished so far. Sometimes, it's the small details that make me the happiest.
 
 Puff's nightstand. There's typically a framed photo of us there too.
 
 
 
Our new print we got from Etsy to hang in the kitchen. (Puff loves cars, and it matched the plaid!)
 
 
 
A serving platter that was a wedding gift from my ad agency, paired with Pier One candles, and rocks from CB2 don the table in our office.
(And NO KIMHEAD, you are not allowed to come and rearrange my rocks! That took me 10 minutes to get them right!)
 
 
 
My comfy, yet ugly, office chair was replaced with an antique dining chair and funky cushion from World Market.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Wedded Bliss


I'm a wee bit behind on my life updating, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about our trip up to The Fort for M & C's wedding weekend. It was an absolutely amazing trip home, and for a change, we didn't feel rushed every second of the visit. We got to spend some time with one grandmother on Friday afternoon, while she took us Christmas shopping. Our cart was full to the brim when we left Target. She's such an awesome woman. We also took in some of the rehearsal dinner on Friday night and gorged ourselves on pasta and pastries while sipping from the wine fountain.


Saturday was the day we've been awaiting for probably close to 12 years. M & I have been friends since 7th grade English. I remember passing her a note about some of the boys in our grade, and somehow the teacher got ahold of it and read it to the entire class the next day. Funny enough - I was out sick that day and spared some of the embarassment. She introduced me to C when we were juniors in high school. She had kept him under pretty good wraps for awhile, but then came the chance to go to the Goo Goo Dolls and Sugar Ray concert, and he attended with us. I remember thinking he was a bit quiet and shy, but who wouldn't be meeting a friend for the first time. Since then, M & C have become staples in all of our friends lives... from attending weddings and events together, to high school football games and trips to the beach. It was the wedding all of us knew would be coming... we just never expected it to be the last of the bunch! And it was gorgeous. From the small fall touches at the church, to her cracking up laughing during the ceremony, to "the hot brother" singing a beautiful song to the couple, it was full of love and we could all feel it.

The reception wasn't bad either! It's always fun to get the high school girls back together to share our lives now and reminiss about how they were then. We ate, we danced, we sang, we drank, we got hit on by the videographer. (OK... so maybe I was egging him on a little bit!) But I literally cannot express enough how grateful I was to be a part of their special day and how beautiful M looked and how fantastic everything turned out to be. Sometimes, you've just gotta love love.

The rest of the weekend was spent with family. We took in the zoo with my parents and it was amazing to see how while some things have changed drastically in the 10 years since I was there last (new giraffe exhibit, new entrance) but there were still all the same goodies from my childhood... the nasty smelling cat house, the creepy naked mole rats in the insect house, and the totally badass komodo dragons. We rounded out the weekend with dinner on the river with my parents and a trip to visit my other grandmother for her to catch up on our busy and hectic lives.

There's something theraputic about going back home. I was blessed to be able to do so 4 times this year, which is a rarity. Next year, it will be only twice. While living in SC sometimes has its bad side, right now, we are 100% content with our lives here. There had been a possibility of a move earlier this year, but when that didn't pan out, I think it put a lot of things back into perspective for me. I've got great friends here, and greater friends in The Fort. But I am so lucky that the distance and the years apart haven't caused our friendships to be any more lacking. When we get together, it's still a ball of fun. And I could not ask for more.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sound Bite Sunday

I'm going to tentatively start a new weekly post... Sound Bite Sunday. For those of you who know me personally, you'll know just how into music I really am. No, I don't play an instrument, and according to my dear husband, I can't sing worth a crap. But that doesn't stop me from jamming to my Ipod and singing out loud at stop lights. Never stopped us from singing out of the sun roof in high school either. So, I'll try to post a song recommendation for you each Sunday, along with the lyrics. Then you can hop on over to Itunes, and as my dad would say, "Expand your musical horizons!"

Today's song: Get a Little High by Robbie Williams

You wake up in the middle of
The thunder of a scream
And you realise that it was yours
You don't know what to tell them
'Cause you don't know where you've been
And you've been there so many times before

It's only natural to feel like you're sinkin'
It's only human to be so unprepared

Don't worry baby, if you get a little high
It's just a phase to get you through getting by
So you get a little restless and you get a little wasted
It's just a little light entertainment
Embrace it, it might just save your life

You always say you're sorry
But you never know what for
And it's been happenin' more and more
Act your age and not your shoe size
And blah blah blah blah blah
That's your role model slammin' the door

So it's only natural to feel the guilt of a nation
It's only human, when you're young you're gonna cry

Don't worry baby, if you get a little high
It's just a phase to get you through gettin' by
So you get a little restless and you get a little wasted
It's just a little light entertainment
Embrace it, it might just save your life

So where else can you go to
'Cause no one's given you the book
About what to say and how to feel
and what you should and shouldn't 'a took

It's feelings that you fearing that's why
You step outside your mind
Don't look back 'cause if you don't crack
You get to sing this lulaby
You get to sing this lulaby

Don't worry baby, if you get a little high
It's just a phase to get you through getting by
So you get a little restless and you get a little wasted
It's just a little light entertainment
Embrace it

Don't worry baby, if you get a little high
It's just a phase to get you through getting by
You do lots of complainin' and do nothing to change it
Well that's a little light entertainment
Embrace it, it just might save your life
Or it just might change your life

Friday, October 22, 2010

Flashbulb Friday!

In early 2008, my almost 5 year relationship with The Ex (finally) came to the halt it deserved. However, that left me stranded with a non-refundable plane ticket to Puerto Rico and a cruise booked for two to the Eastern Caribbean. Cue my good friend, Meghan, who jumped at the chance to pick up PR, USVI, Dutch & French St. Maarten, Antigua, St. Lucia, and Barbados with me! (No wonder I'm at 25 foreign countries/territories and counting!) We relaxed. We ate. We snorkeled. We toured. We ziplined with Roger. (Oh... Roger!) And it was one of my favorite vacations ever.
 
This picture was taken in Phillipsburg, St. Maarten, right off where the ferry dropped you after arriving into town from the ship. We were there in early November and with all the chaos at work right now, I'd pretty much give anything to be able to be THERE instead of HERE!
 
 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Big, Fat Cow

Sometimes being a self-aware and, occasionally, self-conscious woman isn't always a good thing. Case and point? This past weekend. Puff and I headed back to The Fort for a beautiful wedding of 2 of my good friends (More on that later!) I was on guest book duty and took my role seriously. So, I figured I needed to look the part... presentable, cute, yet conservative enough for chuch. So I pulled out my most business-like fall dress, grey from Banana Republic, with 3-inch black heels, bright pink sweater (just in case), and mandatory trendy accessory - the skinny belt. And I felt hot and sexy.

Problem is, feeling hot and sexy doesn't necessarily equate to looking hot and sexy! Sure, Puff told me I looked hot and was all over me all day (as much as I'd let him be, anyway) but when I started looking at the photos, I couldn't help but pick myself apart. WHY DO WOMEN DO THAT?!?! Ugh... yes, there were bad photos, but I am by no means as big as I started to feel as the night wore on. Perhaps that vodka was making me fat instead of making the room spin? Just a thought...

The long and short of it is that from July 2009 to my wedding in May 2010, I lost 16 pounds. Yes, really. All without even changing a dress size. (Which is totally disheartening!) But since my wedding, I've gained back about 6 pounds that I just can't shake. And this past weekend, it definitely bothered me more than usual. So I get back to SC and start my regimine of counting calories and working out each night, but the workouts haven't been as intense as they were back in the spring, and those Milk Duds and by-the-slice pieces of cake from Publix aren't helping. Nor is the jar of Nutella in the kitchen cabinet or the helmet of Milky Ways on my desk at the office.

WHY AM I ADDICTED TO SWEETS?!?!?!

::sigh:: I'm going to pause here and aplogize for this ridiculously stupid, venting entry that is of literally no interest to any of you. I've got better ideas of my sleeve... I swear! Just roll with me here on this one for a second. The plan? More diet. More exercise. Less sweets. More crankiness because of lack of sweets. Hope Puff is ready to exchange his happy wife for a skinny one. Because I'm pretty sure that's the trade off!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Hate People

I'm not really sure the exact moment it happens to mothers. Is it the second that bloody, icky mess of a newborn pops out of the womb? Is it the first time the tyke straps on a backpack and poses for pictures on the front porch en route to kindergarten? Regardless of when it happens, I'm convinced that it happens with at least 95% of women... at least in our neighborhood. What is "it," you're wondering? A ha... I'm so happy you asked.

"It" would be that mothers in mini-vans (or maybe even more annoying, giant SUVs they haven't mastered how to drive) suddenly lose all common sense, common decency, and throw their manners out the window when it comes to driving. And parking. Which somehow equates to driving their mini-van into my grass and subsequently parking there to wait on their mangy-ass middle-schoolers to dismiss each day. More on that in a minute.

First, let me address the lack of common sense and decency toward other drivers. We live near an elementary school and the middle school... which means that in the morning, I'm battling the exiting car line of wee ones and in the afternoon, our yard is innundated with rebellious pre-teens. Most mornings, I find myself having to restrain from flipping the bird or screaming out the window to at least one clueless female driver coming to or from the school. I am continuously cut off, tailgated, or almost side-swiped. Do you suddenly become so involved in staring at your offspring that you are completely blinded to the outside world? Wouldn't you think not paying attention would lead to perhaps more potential for say, an accident? Not to mention the opposite "speed" issues with them driving 4 miles per hour through our neighborhood or "jogging" their kids to school and stopping at the edge of my driveway with their stroller large enough to fit 2 full-grown adults when I clearly have on my reverse lights.

BITCH, MOVE! If your child is school age, they should NOT BE IN A DAMN STROLLER!!!!

About a year and a half ago, Puff and I met at The Bungalow in the mid-afternoon to head to an appointment. Having not typically been at the house during middle school dismissal, we were previously unaware of the brewing trouble. Those obnoxious, careless soccer moms were refusing to commit to sitting in the car line, so they sat on the side street, which isn't really wide enough for parked traffic, so they just took it upon themselves to pull into our grass. And I'm not talking half of one set of tires... I'm talking full-on, entire car off the pavement and in our yard. When it got to the point where we were noticing that our grass was dying and there were mud-filled tire divets after a heavy rain, I took matters into my own hands. Up went those tacky orange flags that you see at construction sites. I had a definite inner-struggle to decide whether to throw a box of nails out there in the hopes of tire damage or (my personal favorite) hiring a large, black man to sit in a lawn chair in the front yard wearing only daisy dukes and offer lollipops to the kids as they trekked through our yard to their car. I'm not sure why Puff didn't like that idea.

After failed attempts to get the school involved, and finding it ridiculous to attempt to call the police ("Yes, I'd like an officer to come out to scare away some housewives please"), we swallowed our pride and bought some chain and stanchion as a more permanent solution.
(Not our yard... ours is void of giant unexplained UFO cirlces)

While it does pain me that I never got to see someone pretend to come on to middle schoolers in an attempt to freak out their mothers, I guess we made the right call. Now, if I'm ever home in the afternoon, I get the joy of watching the tiny women in their monstrous SUVs attempt to not drive into our yard, all the while blocking the road from on-coming traffic. One of these days they're going to try to squeeze through a space that's too small and scrape up the sides of their precious cars.

And that will be a bright spot in my day.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Pre-Mature Flashbulb Friday

No, I'm not as stupid as I look. I realize that it's not yet Friday, but it feels like it since I am taking a few days off work to head back to The Fort to celebrate in the long-awaited wedding of my dear, dear friends, M & C. So, in sticking with the wedding theme, here is a picture from my own wedding that happened just 5 short months ago. Our photographer was absolutely amazing, and I'll share her website in a future post that is brewing in my head. Here's to love!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Food & Friends... and more food...

To say we ate our way from one end of town to the other this past weekend is definitely NOT an understatement.
 
Rachel, Kimhead, and Lisa all came to town this past weekend for a long overdue reunion of sorts. We've known each other since our junior year of college (all those years ago) and finally were able to work it out to get all of us together in the same town. And it was fantastic!
 
 
 
Our weekend started off with a cookout at The Bungalow, complete with a homemade butterscotch cake. (Those of you who know me personally know that if I actually make anything from scratch in the kitchen, I expect a gold star.) Saturday took us to the mountains for stops at two historical bridges and a roadside apple stand. And then highlight #1 of the weekend... a festival. A festival full of FOOD. Harkening back to the line that started this blog, we literally ate from one end of Main Street to the other. And it took us several good hours to do so. Myself alone gorged on baked ziti, a Bavarian pretzel with spicy mustard, stuffed shrimp, and the best red velvet cupcake EVER. Oh, and strawberry cheesecake gelato to seal the deal. Others chowed on Indian food, chicken teriyaki, BBQ sandwiches, beef tips, cookies, funnel cake, lobster cigars, she crab soup, and fried green tomatoes. (Ready to barf yet???)
 
Following the glutony, we headed back to The Bungalow for highlight #2... watching a super exciting college football game. Our alma mater spanked their opponent, and we relished in our beer and company and thankfully didn't break anything. 3 1/2 hours later, we decided we needed more. A failed attempt to get a table at Outback lead us to Chili's where we each ordered a fried appetizer and mixed drinks and chatted and laughed and drank some more and embarrassed Puff and just had a grand ol' time! I am literally so blessed to have great friends like these, even if we live hours apart and see each other much less often than I would like!
 
It wouldn't have been the end of a weekend with us, apparently, without breakfast at IHOP on Sunday morning. Giggling and laughing and telling stories and jokes, we devoured our french toast, pancakes, and omelets before they had to get on the road. Hugs all around sent them on their way. Here's hoping it's sooner, rather than later, that we get to eat together again.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Romance is Alive

Puff and I have made it a habit in the 2+ years that we've been together to get out and experience as much of the world as possible. We've been everywhere from Ireland to New York City to Mexico in that short time and we've got a big trip to Scandinavia on the books for next year. I've said for years that if there wasn't travel, I'd be lost. And I will always choose to fund a trip versus funding anything else. With my insane work schedule, we always have to plan well in advance. Our spring is already jam-packed of visits from Puff's family, a Hilton Head trip with my parents, and getaways with friends for birthday celebrations. So, when I put the pressure on for a trip just the two of us, Puff hit the jackpot.
 
OEI photo
 
 
 
This winter, we get to spend a romantic weekend away together at the Old Edwards Inn & Spa in Highlands, North Carolina. It's an adorable, yet swanky, small town and it was recently ranked by Conde Nast Traveler as one of the best hotel spas in the country! Sure, it won't probably be warm enough to go out hiking in the surrounding mountains and I'm betting a lot of the shops will be boarded up in anticipation of the spring tourist season, but I am out of my mind excited about the prospect of it all.
 
Curling up with my husband in a ritzy room with a jacuzzi and splurging on a massage and a fancy dinner sounds perfect to me. Now we've just got to get through these coming months in between. Thankfully, having something like this to look forward to, makes those months that much easier to bear.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Flashbulb Friday


Puff's birthday is in early November, and it always seems to coincide with a trip to the mountains to look at the leaves. This was from Fall 2009 and was taken from a bridge on a 2-lane road in the rural upstate of SC looking out onto what I think is Table Rock Mountain. Life's too short not to pull off on the side of the road to capture something beautiful.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Zoom, Zoom

To say my husband likes cars is a bit like saying fish like water or that I like cake. I've been to more car shows in our 2+ years together than I ever thought existed and without fail, every time I ask Puff what he's looking at online, he tells me he's shopping for our next vehicle. I want to fault him for it, but the reality is that I'd much rather hear about the newest BMW innovation than The Ex's babbling about comic books and his collection of action figures. Ahh... the joys of being in a grown-up relationship.
 
I digress. This love of cars does NOT, however, extend into NASCAR racing. Yet, lucky for us, there is the Le Mans series. Puff isn't an avid fan, nor did he ever watch any races until recently. But there is a Petit Le Mans race that happens every year on a track between his mom's house in Atlanta and our house here in SC. And during a routine drive past the exit several months ago, he mentioned that "no one loves him enough" to buy him tickets to a race. Basically, that's code for "Be a good wife and take me there." So, I did just that. While his birthday isn't until November, I got him tickets for the occasion and this past Saturday, we buckled down and headed to Georgia for the race. Both of us knew little to nothing about what we were about to experience.
 
 
 
All I can say is that it was totally, 100% BADASS. There was an energy, yet the crowds were so spread out over the gigantic, meandering track, that it wasn't overwhelming. We got there about 10 minutes before the race started, so we got to see them tell the drivers to get into their cars and start their engines. We were overlooking the pit as they started the race... which was to go 10 hours or 10,000 miles, whichever came first. We were informed that during time trials earlier in the week, one of the cars had topped 204 mph. Not too shabby. We checked out everything from the pit crews (whom you could stand right behind) and then sought out the best place to watch the race and get photos. It seemed like I wanted to stop at every vantage point to play with my camera to catch the cars speeding past. I was definitely so happy to be using my zoom lens and the "continuous shooting" mode on my camera. You don't get to use that very often.
 
 
 
After about 5 hours, we'd checked out every spectator hill or camping area with an overlook. We had scarfed down grilled burgers that a high school was preparing as a fundraiser. We signed up for free information on car oil made from beef scraps. We oohed and aahed at the Audi display. We bought Puff a new t-shirt. We peed in 2 porta-potties.
 
And didn't get syphilis from it! Not that we know of yet anyway...
 

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Gimme the Money!


Oh, newbies, you're in for a treat. This is my first big violent rant for you! It's being written with such rage in my heart that I am struggling to concentrate on anything else. And let me just be clear, that while I am engulfed in hatred of stupidity right now, I fully understand that it's ridiculous and stupid and petty. We all get that way sometimes and some of us, more often than others. My latest issues?
 
The ATM.
 
Without FAIL I will always end up getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to trying to get out some cash. Which, is probably the greatest reason that I barely carry 30 cents in my purse on a regular basis. Oh, those people at the Wendy's drive-thru love it when I hand them my debit card for my $2.89 meal. In the past, I have come across such gems as a hoodlum that I'm pretty sure was trying to somehow scam the system and perhaps, break into the machine or the little old lady who wants to prove to herself that she can see (and reach) the buttons from her giant Buick. I've timed people who appear to be punching all the normal buttons and it's taken them 4 minutes or more to get some cash, while it takes me all of 30 seconds. And my all-time favorite was the college-aged girl who got out of the car with a stack of at least 5 checks and proceeded to learn, most likely for the first time, how to deposit them into the machine.
 
BITCH... the bank is OPEN. WALK YOUR LAZY ASS INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
::sigh:: It's always pathetic when the quickest route to take would've been to write myself a check and have the teller at the window cash it for me. I'm all for advancing technology, but isn't the ATM supposed to be a convenience tool, made to speed up life? If you can refinance your entire house on the damn thing, maybe it's time to back it up a bit. Today's rage is fueled by the fact that I honestly needed cash for an excursion to a place we weren't sure would take any credit cards. It wasn't convenient to stop en route to work, so I tried on my lunch break. Oh, but there were 6 cars in the drive-thru. No luck. Off to The Bungalow for lunch. On the way back to work, I tried another bank. There was only one car! Yay! And they were actively pressing buttons! Super yay!
 
It's never that easy. Oh no... when the guy was finished, his 2 ratty-ass buddies jumped out of the passenger side of the car and walked over to make their own withdrawls! SERIOUSLY?!?!? No luck there either... I sped away before I was tempted to ram my SUV into the back of their beat-up Toyota with its garbage-bag-window. I had been gone from work for well over an hour at this point and was giving up. Oh, but there was another bank on the way back to work. Should I give it one more try? I definitely didn't have much faith. And that was probably a good thing to not get my hopes up... as I pulled up, there were 2 cars in line, behind the armored car, which had the entire machine in pieces on the ground. Probably because some hoodlum was trying to break into it. Maybe it's time to find a bank that's not located in the ghetto?
 
And I still don't have any frickin' cash! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Topless Tidbits

Remember when I mentioned that I wouldn't tell you where I lived because you might stumble across me naked in the window? Well, I was up before 8am yesterday and was in the spare bedroom drying my hair... not wearing a shirt. The window that faces the street had the blinds partially closed, but there weren't any lights on inside the house, so I figured I was safe. Well, at one point, I flipped my head up from being upside-down and there was a woman standing in our front yard (granted, she had her dog) squared to the window, staring straight at me. Now, I'm not sure what (if anything) she saw, but I definitely freaked.

I hope that made your day, lady, I hope it made your day.

_____________________________________________

Friday night, Puff and I were heading downtown in the convertible. It was a gorgeous evening, perfectly fall-ish, and of course we had the top down. Then this conversation occurred:

Puff: I hate when people own convertibles and don't have the top down.

Me: Ehh...

Puff: Although, this top isn't down (points to sky) when that top is down! (points to my chest)

Me: Since I ride around topless?

Puff: You would if you knew how to drive stick.

Two minutes later...

Me: I really should write that conversation down.

Puff: Because this top's not down when you're showing your boobies??

Sometimes, that man just doesn't make any sense to me....

Friday, October 1, 2010

Flashbulb Friday!

Other, more legit, blogs usually have something special they post either weekly or daily... "Wordless Wednesdays" or "Flashback Fridays" or "The Daily Photo." Well, this is my variant. Each Friday I will try to post a photo I've taken, with a brief description of the meaning behind it. In no way, shape, or form do I claim to be a great photographer. I've got great friends who are professionals! But anyway... I stumble into a great shot every now and again. Just don't ask me to explain to you about the apature or shutter speed!



With it being the beginning of October, I wanted to flash back to this moment, just over 2 years ago, when Puff took me to do a 3 hour hike to Falls Creek Falls. I'm not sure if it was in SC or NC, and I don't really care. As you can see, the sky was a perfect blue and the trees were amazing. That whole day turned out amazing... at the top of the mountain, sitting on a rock at the bottom of the beautiful waterfall, Puff told me he loved me for the first time. (Awwww....)

Don't worry, he told me he hated me first :)