Sunday, June 28, 2015

Healey 1:52



Yes, here we go again. Another year worth of baby squishiness and milestone updates!
 
I think the biggest thing that happened in Healey's first 7 days of life didn't actually happen to her, but rather, to me. As her mom. I will admit to being a little afraid at the end of my pregnancy that for some reason, I just wouldn't be able to love her the way I have loved Bimmer for 3 years. But everything they say is true... the second I heard her cry, my heart grew infinitely to fit her right in. She was a piece to my life I never knew was missing. And now, I could never imagine one second of my life without her. It is a blessing to be her mom and I vow to do anything and everything I can to make sure she has the best life possible.
 
As for her own development... she was born 8 lbs. 13 oz. and left the hospital at 9 lbs. She went back to the pediatrician at 4 days old for a check of her jaundice. She had been at a level 9 at the hospital, but when we took her back that Saturday, it was upgraded to a 13.5. Thankfully, they said it wasn't within any sort of danger zone that required treatment. She also went back at 6 days old for her one week check-up. Her jaundice was back down to a 9, so we were moving in the right direction! She was back down to her birth weight too, but she was a good eater, so they weren't concerned. However, that is also when they noticed she had a very faint heart murmur. Cue a panic attack for this mama! (Will update as we have more info.)
 
Otherwise, Healey is just the sleepiest and snuggliest baby EVER. I would not be exaggerating if I said she sleeps up to 20 hours a day right now. Sometimes she will wake just long enough for us to change her and give her a bottle before she conks right back out again. She's a good eater (taking 2 ounces literally from the start) who has kept to a pretty routine every 3 hours worth of feeding. She can fit in newborn diapers, but we've mostly been using size 1 with the front folded over some. She is also in size 0-3 month clothes (since I didn't feel like wasting money on newborn clothes) and while some fit better than others, we're making it work. No sense to me in buying a bunch of stuff my chunky baby will only wear for a few weeks! She is also very hiccupy and is my pacifier baby. She even tries to hold it in her mouth on her own.
 
Lastly, I won't do this every week (because, let's be real, that's overkill and unfair to Healey as her own individual person) but I just had to share the girls side by side one week photos. I think it's safe to say that Puff can no longer claim that the Milk Man is Bimmer's father... or at least not unless he decides the Milk Man is the father of BOTH of these sweet girls!
 
 

Friday, June 26, 2015

Post Partum

My favorite blogs to read are those who don't try to pretend to be something they aren't. I love the moms who admit to having breakdowns post-partum and those who don't try to pretend like their kids never have tantrums. I want to read about the REAL.

So here is my reality at the moment, 10 days post partum...

* After the horrible start to the birth of my lovely daughter, recovery began. In the hospital, I definitely had lots of pain, some dizziness, some complete and total exhaustion where I just almost passed out, an ear infection (because why not?) and just normal, run of the mill, post-major-surgery stuff.

* The first poop was excruciating. You're welcome for sharing. Coughing is also painful. As is getting up from being seated or laying down, especially if I don't have anything to grab on to for leverage. This is getting better each and every day though. Thank God! I don't want my insides to fall out!

* Since being home, I've weened off my major pain meds and am just on a heavy-duty Motrin. Most of my pain is on the left side, spreading around from the middle of my incision to the center of my back. I am worried my sciatica is still there, since sometimes I still have that pain down my left leg. I'm seriously hoping not - I don't want to be 33 years old with two small children and have to live with that crap the rest of my life!!!

* I managed to come away with only a few stretch marks on my stomach, but of course they're right in the middle. Hopefully they will fade a little bit with time. War wounds, right? They don't worry me nearly as much as my flat belly button was worrying me. (It never popped all the way out, but was close.) Thankfully, it is back to normal shape. Life can go on as planned.

* I gained a total of 53 pounds this pregnancy (versus 48 with Bimmer) and have already lost 25ish. I suspect not being so swollen (my feet look normal again!!!) and not eating constantly and in the middle of the night helps with that. I also am doing an Herbalife shake almost every day for lunch, although I did have a Poptart for breakfast this morning. Hey, there were a few left in the box - no sense in letting what we already have here at home go to waste, right?

* Lastly, I have been extra weepy the past few days. I remember bawling last go-round when my parents left town after Bimmer was born, but I don't remember much else just causing me to cry for no apparent reason. This time? I definitely cry at least once a day. Most of the time it is at bedtime when Bimmer is crying and wanting attention and that sets off Healey and I just get massive mommy guilt about Bimmer resenting me and her sister, and it just spirals into all three of us crying and Puff having no idea what to do. (His normal response is to get mad at Bimmer for crying. Breaks my heart even more.) Hopefully this will wear off soon enough... once I am physically at a better place. I think that will make it easier with both girls.

There you have it... what's really going on right now with my recovery. Sorry there weren't any photos. Figured you didn't need any visual aids on this one. I promise to be back next time with some photos of a squishy baby or an adorable 3 year old, or some man candy. Something.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Healey's Birth Story

I may or may not have mentioned in all of my last pregnancy updates, that I wasn't 100% sure that Healey would make it to her June 18th scheduled C-section. Just anything and everything about the end of the pregnancy led me to believe that she wasn't going to make this easy. And I was definitely correct.

 
 
You can read about Bimmer's birth HERE from 3 years ago. I didn't think it was possible to have that birth scenario... the pushing and not being able to get the baby out, so having to have an emergency c-section. It just had never even occurred to me prior to it happening to me with Bimmer. I figured with Healey, that even if I didn't have the picture perfect scheduled c-section, it could never rank up there with Bimmer's birth story.
 
Eh... I'd almost flip a coin at this point as to which was worse!
 
Last Monday, I had my last pre-natal doctor's appointment. The doctor didn't check me for progress (why would he? I was scheduled for a c-section that Thursday) but he did mention that he wasn't sure I would make it to Thursday. Well, he totally jinxed us!!! I felt a bit "off" early that evening, but I had been feeling "off" for awhile, so I didn't know if it was anything. I laid down with Bimmer and snuggled her to sleep. I was very emotional that night and just wanted to lap up every single second I could with my sweet girl. When I stood up out of bed around 10pm, I felt like I was about to pee my pants. I ran to the bathroom and yes, there was more uncontrollable fluid that I expected.
 
Did my water break? Or was I just losing that much bladder control? I wasn't 100% sure.
 
I did go ahead and alert Puff and text Kimhead though, just in case. Better safe than sorry.
 
At 12:30am... I was certain. I was standing in the kitchen and had a mild contraction (which I had been having all night, and off and on for days really) and I felt fluid leak down my leg. I ran to the bathroom as quickly as I could, but by the time I got there, my panties and shorts were totally soaked through and there was no stopping the fluid - like I could have stopped the stream had it been pee. Time to call Kimhead to hit the road (she had roughly a 90 minute drive to get to us) and notify my parents (who were scheduled to fly to town that Thursday, not Tuesday!!!) and finish packing our hospital bag.
 
By the time Kimhead got to the house around 2am, I was definitely struggling with some pain through my contractions. I was, however, eternally grateful she made that drive for us in the middle of the night so Bimmer could wake up with someone she recognized in the morning. It was my worst case scenario as far as that was concerned... I was so worried about Bimmer and having someone here for her. In fact, waiting for Kimhead was probably NOT the wisest decision when it came to me actually being in labor. My contractions weren't super regular at the house, but they were anywhere from 8 minutes to 4 minutes apart. By the time Puff sped us to the hospital? I had a contraction in the car before getting out, one standing there at the door waiting for Puff to park the car, another in the elevator, and TWO at the desk while they were getting me checked in!!!
 
Let's just say that 2:30am until 4am was pretty horrible. They got me into a room right away, and confirmed that yes, my water had broken. And that yes, my contractions were now consistently 2 minutes apart! And oh - they FUCKING HURT!!!! The doctor that was on call was not from my practice, but at this point, I totally didn't care!!! The contractions were miserable... apparently they are worse after your water has broken??? (They broke mine with Bimmer after I was already drugged up.) I was crying and screaming and was totally being a baby. I have no idea how women have natural births with no drugs. God bless them because I was in a lot of pain... and they couldn't do anything about it until after they had run my blood work, gotten me some fluids, and found the doctor. (He wasn't answering his cell - um, not cool buddy!!!)
 
The nurses were fantastic though!!! They got me prepped as if they already had the go-ahead so that by the time the doctor did arrive, they were able to wheel me straight back to the operating room. I was so miserable by this point that I didn't think it was possible to get any worse. I was just ready for Healey to come out!!!
 
Oh... but it was possible for it to get worse.
 
Like, WAY worse.
 
Like... they couldn't get the spinal in worse.
 
God bless the sweet nurses who held my hand, pushed my body into positions I didn't think possible, and let me bawl on their shoulder. They were so supportive as I struggled through my close contractions and was poked repeatedly in the spine... like at least 10 times. They did finally manage to get it in and from then on, it was cake.
 
Or as "cake" as it is to get your body sliced open and have them pull out a baby! The spinal did work, whereas my epidural had worn off during Bimmer's delivery, so they didn't have to put me all the way under. It was such a blessing to hear Healey's first cry and then get to be aware of her first few minutes of life.
 
I have lots to update on... my recovery so far, Bimmer's reaction to being a big sister, how Healey is doing after the first week home, and oh yeah, her first round of Project 52 photos! Puff is easing back into work, my incision is slowly starting to heal, and my parents just left today to go back to The Fort. So we are officially on our own at this point. But we've got this.
 
I've got a loving husband by my side, who is doing anything and everything he possibly can, while still dealing with the rat race at his office. And more importantly, I have two happy and healthy daughters. My pain recovery will come soon enough and then life can move on a little bit easier and we'll get into the swing of it all.
 
Thank you to all of you for your love and support and well-wishes and prayers as Healey made her arrival. She is a little miracle and we are over the moon in love!!! 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

And Away We Go....

Healey is here.

And she's perfect.

I think we'll keep her.

I owe you a birth story (because of course she didn't come on her scheduled c-section date!!!) but that will have to wait. Today, right now, is the first time that my whole family, just the 4 of us, have been together in The Bungalow. My parents have been rockstars keeping Bimmer for us while we were in the hospital and last night while we got settled.

But right now, I'm soaking up the quiet love that is happening right now... Bimmer and Puff snuggled in her room for a nap. Healey half dreaming on a blanket on the bed next to me.

It is the perfection of life that I never saw ahead of me... the perfection I never thought possible. The life I never quite imagined could be mine.

But it is. And I cannot get enough.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Mom Guilt & Being MIA

Mommy guilt - it's totally a real thing. And as we come upon the last day or two of Bimmer being an only child, I cannot help but have some.
 
A lot, actually.
 
One of the biggest contributing factors to my wishy-washy status of not being sure I wanted to have a second child was that I was worried it was a selfish decision. I really thought it was a selfish decision no matter which way it went. But now that I am in the thick of it - the no turning back point of it all - I am having some definite Mommy guilt that I have somehow ruined the life of my child by forcing her into becoming a big sister.
 
I know that's not the reality. I have watched Bimmer blossom and grow and be nothing but excited about telling anyone and everyone that she is going to be a big sister. I have seen her want to help us get out the baby's swing and fold the baby's clothes. She has wanted to buy gifts for Healey and talks about the future with her in the sweetest way.
 
I get that Bimmer is only 3 and that while being an only child with our undivided attention is all that she has ever known, she will figure it out. Probably a lot quicker than any of the rest of us expect her to. Honestly, probably a lot quicker than the rest of us figure it out for ourselves.
 
I have been going back and looking at some old photos of Bimmer lately and I just cannot believe how much she has grown. I see her chunky little baby thighs and see photos of moments I don't remember all that clearly. I don't think I have rushed the past three years, but I know there were times I didn't stop to soak her up as much as I probably should have. I am hopeful that we can still maintain a "Rushing Life" without missing any of the sweet, small moments with both of our girls. Puff is guilty of it too - probably way more so than I am. We all need to take this summer to step back, realize how lucky and blessed we are, and relish in these sweet days that we will never get back.
 
The past two years, a friend of mine has taken the photos we used for our Christmas cards. Since she is an amateur photographer, she gives us all of the shots she takes - even if there are hundreds of them - so that we can choose for ourselves the best. I was looking back at the ones she took when Bimmer was about 18 months old. I would have never chosen these shots for our cards, but they are the sweetest, most candid snapshots of that time in our life... a time I want to dwell on and remember. An imperfect time, captured perfectly.
 



 
 
I cannot wait until our family photos include another sweet little girl. Until then, I apologize for any delay in posting (it will probably be next week sometime before I'm feeling back up to it) but I've got some pretty important stuff to focus on right now. My girls... Bimmer and Healey... will be together this week. And I cannot be more excited.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Fill the Bucket

A few years ago, I came up with a bucket list for the year. Or maybe it was just for the summer. I don't really remember, but no mind, because this year, I want to make a summer bucket list. Yes, from the woman about to give birth any second to a mid-June baby that is kinda sorta gonna goof up a lot of summer plans. HOWEVER... we must not forget I have a 3 year old whose life shouldn't have to stop just because she became a big sister. I figure these are easy and fun things that she will get a lot of mileage out of that hopefully Puff and I will enjoy as well. 

* Try a New Playground - There is supposedly a kickass wooden playground in the next town over that I've been dying to let Bimmer try! 

* Play in a Water Fountain/Splash Pad

 
* Have a Picnic
 
* Water Park - Bimmer saw a video of a local water park and has been asking for weeks to go. Hopefully we can go later this summer! 

* Camp Out - She camped in the backyard for her birthday and I want Puff and Bimmer to be able to do it at least once more before fall 

* Swim with Friends

* Play in the Rain

* Perfect Eating Ice Cream - Bimmer is horrid at eating ice cream... I think it's time we load her up on some and let her figure it out 

* Get Shaved Ice - There is a food truck I keep hearing about in the Upstate that supposedly has the most amazing shaved ice. I am dying to try! Er... Bimmer would like it too! 
 
 
It will be strange to have a "summer break" this year from work. Although, of course, I know that being home with a newborn is no real break. But I am hopeful there will be days that I can walk to pick up Bimmer from school, that Puff will be home early enough some nights to grill out for dinner, and that overall, we make the most of this time together as a newly made family of 4!

Friday, June 12, 2015

The Final Update: 38 Weeks

 
Well, here we are. I made it to my 38 week update. No more pregnancy updates... ever again. For the history of time. 

Unless Jason Statham is in desperate need of offspring. Then, ya know, maybe we could have a discussion. After a lot (and a lot and a lot) of practice making said fictitious baby. 

At 37 weeks all my sinus/ear/bronchitis stuff was pretty much under control, with the exception of the rib pain. It actually got worse. So much worse that I couldn't even lay on my left side at all and was grimacing even when I was laughing because it hurt so bad. My OBGYN finally saw me (since I hadn't seen them since prior to all of that crud) and she talked me through my symptoms and eased my mind that it wasn't a blood clot. I knew there wasn't anything they could do for me with a possibly fractured rib (or strained muscle or inflamed cartilage - or whatever else they couldn't diagnose without an x-ray) but the peace of mind was nice. I suppose. I was still in agony. On the bright side, I had lost a few pounds due to being sick (they hadn't wanted me to gain any more) and I was measuring OK and the baby's heartbeat was perfect. The doc did note how much room Healey is taking up in my stomach though - she is maxing out her space! 
 
Sleeping is so much more uncomfortable. If I lay on one side for too long, the poor girl gets shifted that way and my stomach gets all bent out of shape and I have to sit up for a few minutes (several times a night) for her to settle back in the middle and for both of us to get comfy again. I can feel her super low too - she has noticeably dropped. So much so that I have been in constant fear for at least 2 weeks now that she is going to come early! I saw the doc at 38 weeks and had them check me, just for my own information. I was already 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. Yup... this baby is definitely on her way! 

I am trying so hard to relish in these last few days of this pregnancy. For as much as I've complained the entire time since I've felt like crap for most of it, it really is an amazing experience. And every last sleepless minute or back ache is totally worth it once Healey is in my arms. With her running out of room, I can feel her little legs and feet distinctly sometimes. I just cannot wait to see them on the outside and snuggle up with her. I don't want to rush any of her babyhood... but I am over being pregnant. Let's be real. I want to hold her in my arms. Thankfully, just a few more days until that is a reality. The best reality ever! 

Thursday, June 11, 2015

I'm Outta Here

As of 2:30pm today, I am officially on maternity leave!

Peace out bitches!!!

You have no idea how excited I am for this time to come. I have been literally twiddling my thumbs, playing on Pinterest, and reading blogs for the last almost 2 weeks at the office. I wrapped up anything and everything I could before I went out, but it just all happened a lot sooner than I expected. And after not receiving any voicemails for over a week and no external emails in the last 2-3 days, I finally just asked my boss if I could hit the road.

I do have a luncheon to attend tomorrow, but that's no big deal. No more office time. No more clients. No more anything to do with that place until sometime in September.

It's such a strange feeling since I wasn't working when I had Bimmer. But it feels good. And I won't worry about that place for a second. I'll miss some of the people, but not all of them. And I'm certain there will be days I am overwhelmed with life here at home and almost yearn for an easy day at the office.

But nope... now it's time to rest. I have to keep this baby cooking for another week before my scheduled C-section. So while I do still need to pack a hospital bag, order Netflix, and do a load or two of laundry, my feet will be up as much as possible!

Speaking of that... I don't have to go pick up Bimmer for another few hours from daycare. So I think a nap is just what this pregnant girl ordered!

Monday, June 8, 2015

Man Candy Monday

I'm going to be phoning it in today for obvious pregnancy reasons... I will try not to phone it in too terribly much once Healey gets here, but you never know. Anyhoo... a little flashback hotness today to make a Monday feel a little bit less like a Monday. (Although yay for this being my last Monday at work until after the baby!!!)
 
I've loved Brad Pitt ever since "Legends of the Fall." How could you  not? (Although recent years? Eh...) But vintage, classic Brad Pitt? Sign me up. Mr. Smith had an unhealthy hetero-crush on him as well. In fact, so much so, that when we were dating, we always talked about naming sons Roland (from Mr. Smith's fave book) and Tristan (from Mr. Pitt's character in Legends.) The name Tristan is still top 5 for me in boys names... but it would never feel right having a Tristan without it being Mr. Smith's son, so alas, probably not looking at having a Tristan ever. (Ya know - that whole boycott I'm imposing on no future pregnancies and not being married to Mr. Smith puts a kink in that.)

Anyway... so classic, vintage Pitt for your eye candy pleasure today.... 
 


 

Friday, June 5, 2015

Finally Three

Three years. The last time these blocks will get used by Bimmer for an entire YEAR. As I've mentioned before, thankfully Healey will be here and we can do WEEKS with her for awhile. Gosh, this push gift was the best gift ever!
 
So, just a little photo dump today of a few of the pics we got of our growing girl! (Check out Southern Hands on Etsy and Facebook for the adorable custom made shirt. They made Bimmer's birthday shirts for her 1st and 2nd year block photos too!) UPDATE: She has had her 3 year well visit and she is 31.8 pounds and 37.5 inches tall. We are going to try to wean her off her daily inhaler and we are monitoring her ears again. But overall - doc is happy with her growth and progress! 
 



 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

#TeamCait

I really do try not to get too wrapped up in all the hype of major news stories - or anything controversial. I have my opinions on it, sure, but that doesn't mean I need to be blasting them all over my blog or drowning out others at the office to share my political views.

You won't see me on here ranting about the run for the White House nor will you see me scrutinizing all the race riots and cop killings, etc.

However, one thing near and dear to my heart (for whatever reason) are the rights of gays. (And all the other LGBTetc. community.) And with Bruce Jenner's transition to a woman being all over everywhere this week, it has definitely been a hot button topic.

A topic I have managed to keep my mouth closed about.

Why? Because I've had to. But this morning, I just had to get it out. Just for a second.

I think if I hear the words "gross" or "disgusting" or "disturbing" about the entire transition one more time at work, I might just lose it.

These particular haters preach their Bible and shout down from their moral high horse. They judge others they don't know, over situations they cannot even begin to possibly fathom. They make Facebook posts about how Caitlyn isn't brave for doing this, soldiers are brave. I'm pretty confident that the general consensus in the world isn't that she is more brave than a soldier. However, courage can come in lots of different forms.

And while I am a fan of the Duggar family, and haven't quite 100% decided how I feel about all of the allegations swirling around them right now, I have yet to hear one of my hardcore Christian coworkers comment on that.

I'm sorry, but I'm certain that in the grand scheme of life mistakes, inappropriately touching a child is much more "gross" and "disgusting" and "disturbing" than Caitlyn Jenner.

Just saying.

P.S. Have you SEEN Caitlyn in that photo in Vanity Fair in the car with the red dress on in the car? Hot mama!!! Puff even made a comment that he hopes I can get back into "Bruce shape" after the baby. Only I would take that as a compliment!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

My Birthday Girl

The next few entries are gonna be the Bimmer show. Ya know, before we switch gears momentarily then to the Healey episodes :)
 
As you are well aware, Bimmer turned 3 at the end of May. I felt like we spread out her birthday celebrations for the entire month! The MIL came up for dinner and gifts one night mid-month and my parents sent her a giant box of goodies. She raked in the gear with these two, with awesome things like a suitcase, a sleeping bag, a bubble machine, puzzles, books, and this super cool magnet shape contraption.
 
 
 
A friend of mine who is a pastry chef hooked Bimmer up with the most delicious cookies 'n cream macaroons to share with her friends in her class to celebrate! As Rowdy put it, total "Marie Antoinette style." Spoiled much?
 
 
 
With Bimmer's birthday falling over Memorial Day weekend the past few years, we lucked into the Gallabrae Scottish games being in nearby Greenville. Last year, the opening parade was pretty cool, so we hit it up again this year. I was too preggers to go to the actual festival and car show this year, but hopefully next year! Regardless, Bimmer loves her "birthday parade" especially when there are Mini Coopers involved.
 
 
 
Her birthday fell on a Sunday this year, and since we weren't planning to have a party with her friends, we wanted to cram in as many cool activities as we could. And what could be better than a little pampering? So off to the nail salon we went for Bimmer's first pedicure. She did so well! She sat and enjoyed every bit of it... from the massage to the hot towel. They even gave her little tiny flowers on her big toenails. She was sure to show them off to everyone the rest of the day!
 
 
 
Last year, she kept asking for a Mickey Mouse birthday. Well, she recently saw photos of that party and wanted a Minnie Mouse cake this year. So I referred to Pinterest to find something slightly different. I was in love with her cake, and so was she! And Puff loved it because I let him pick the flavor combo - chocolate with raspberry filling. The girl loved us singing happy birthday to her!
 
 
 
That night, we grilled out, had dinner on the deck, and then my J.Crew & Vineyard Vines clad family pitched a tent... because what else would you do?
 
 
 
Puff has been wanting to take Bimmer "camping" in the backyard since last year. I convinced him that it was better to wait until she was old enough to appreciate it, and turning 3 was the perfect time. Thankfully, the MIL gave her a new princess sleeping bag to use. They went out about 9pm with their books and water bottles and flashlights, and stayed outside until around 8am. Puff said she woke up asking to read more books before coming inside. So, my sweet girl actually hit the 3 year old mark at 4:53am while in a tent in our backyard!
 
 
 
When she came inside, I had hung streamers from almost all the doorways in the house for her to run through. I wished I had been able to sneak out to get some balloons. Oh well - maybe next year. Did you think Puff and I forgot to give her anything for a gift? Nope... we gave her the best hand-me-down gift we could think of... my old dollhouse.
 
 
 
Of course she doesn't know yet that it had been mine, but J-Really gave it an interior facelift with some new paint and wallpaper and Bimmer is loving it! It warms my heart that my girl is going to get some use and some fun out of something that I had loved so much when I was little. Here's hoping she keeps it in good shape so her little sister can enjoy it some day too.
 
All told - I think turning 3 went OK for Bimmer. Now I can start to contemplate what we are going to do for her 4th birthday! I have promised her a party with friends. For some reason, I want a flamingo theme. I guess I've got roughly a year to figure that one out though. And at what point do I let her have some input?