Stupid Brats

When I found out I was pregnant with Bimmer, I was elated. And for more reasons than the super obvious, "I'm finally pregnant."

 

The timing was pure perfection for my old job. I would be out on maternity leave for our three quietest months. (Obviously, that doesn't matter now.) But it was also perfect timing because I wouldn't be couped up in the house during the winter months, where I worried depression would settle in. (Gotta love the irony of my current situation then, huh?) Except, one of the most exciting reasons for me was that I would be home when school was NOT in session.

 

For the past 2 months, I have spent every afternoon hiding. Yes, hiding from middle schoolers. I mentioned way back when I first started this blog about the moms who liked to drive their mini-vans through our yard. And then the kids who trampled our plants and figured our yard was a great cut-through for their lazy-ass, non-rule following soccer moms who refuse to get in the pick-up line. On pretty days, I'll duck out about 3:15pm, as the vans and SUVs are backing up down the street, barely missing my driveway. It doesn't matter where I go... bank, post office, grocery, Starbucks, park, or just driving around aimlessly in a school-free zone. If I'm not up to leaving, I hunker down in our back bedroom, shut the shades, turn on some noise, and pray for sanity during those 15 minutes that immediately follow dismissal.

 

Now, I realize I was a 7th grader at once in my life. And I am sure I yelled and screamed at my friends like these kids do. Heck, I'm sure the boys I grew up with taunted dogs like these kids do to our neighbors. But I swear, I never just walked through some random person's yard, every single day, with 30 of my friends, not caring what trash I dropped or what plant I stomped on. And I am certain my mom/grandma/friend's mom would've never let me get away with that either. It just makes me so violent that I have to hide myself from it, or else I will want to invest in a rifle and a pit bull to sit on my porch every day at 3:30pm.

 

The thing I notice most about the entire situation? (Prepare for what could potentially be misconstrued as a racist statement here.) But the kids who are the most disrespectful? The rich white kids. They're the ones with stay-at-home-moms in giant Navigators and Escalades who come straight from tennis practice to pick up little Winston Carlisle IV and his buddy, Tripp. The black kids never get off the sidewalk. Sure, they'll sometimes sit on the curb waiting for a ride, but they never touch anything, are never loud, and never throw trash in my yard. There's even a little boy who sometimes sits on the curb across the street for well over a half hour, waiting for a ride, who always comes in a beat up old car, probably rushing from work to pick him up. And the kid who rides the short bus (probably to an alternative school)? He's said "hello" to me several times, keeps to himself, stays on the sidewalk or in the street, and is generally, not a nuisance at all.

 

But dammit, do I want to stab a snotty, snobby, rich white kid just about every single day. Not literally, but I would like to scare the shit out of them. Or lace my yard with mounds of dog shit so they'd all step in it and then get it in their mom's perfectly detailed SUV.