Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Clear for Take Off

My body has now, officially, been medically cleared to be called my own once again. Although, I’ve been told there’s to be no hanky-panky with Puff until he’s taken me out to a fancy dinner and arranged a babysitter. Doctor’s orders.

I’ve had a few inquiries into how I am doing with my recovery post-delivery, so now that we’re past the 6 week mark, I thought I’d fill you in on the (slow) progress. I gained 48 pounds in total during my pregnancy. And, as you can see, my belly got pretty gosh-darn big. Make that HUGE. In my mind, I had intended to not gain more than 40 pounds, but somewhere in those last few weeks, my stomach got a mind of its own and was force-feeding itself way too many Frito’s and strawberry Poptarts.

Bimmer weighed in at 8 pounds, 5 ounces when she was born, so I came home having lost roughly 15 pounds. But I was still swollen and fat and those damn breasts engorged to the size of watermelons! Not to mention the swelling in my feet was way worse post-delivery than it ever was during the pregnancy.

By roughly 4 weeks out, I had lost 30 pounds. I was feeling pretty good about that, since I really hadn’t done any exercising or started on any reasonable diet. The “diet” of just flat out not having time or being able to cook one-handed while holding baby was all I could maintain. However, I’ve officially plateaued. Yup… I’ve been stuck at needing to lose those last 18 pounds for a few weeks now.

And it’s time to get serious.

My 6 week post-partum doctor’s visit had Bimmer screaming her head off in the exam room while I sat naked from the waist down on a flimsy piece of paper, while Bimmer kicked her foot through the paper sheet over my lap so many times it looked like Jaws had gotten ahold of it. Never mind having to jump up on several occasions to grab her pacifier or burp cloth from the stroller… bare assed and all. I finally just let her cry in an effort to get the doc to come in faster. I’m not sure if that was the reason or not, but he came in about 20 seconds later!

The wound has pretty well healed, but I have a nice scar to mark the occasion. Here’s hoping it fades over time. And that the ingrown pubic hair I got in the incision works its way out. Why does no one share these gnarly side effects of pregnancy?!? I did finally find ONE stretch mark on my stomach. It’s about an inch long, but of course, it’s right in the middle. I suppose other moms won’t let me complain much about that, will they?

I’m also rocking my “pimp hand” still. Gotta keep those ho’s in check, right? Ha! The doc said my carpal tunnel should have cleared up by now, which is scary. It got better for a few weeks, but has been back again, and pretty horribly some days. Oh, and we are also officially back on birth control. No Irish Twins!

Now it’s time to focus on trying to get back into shape. Looking at the photos from our recent trip to Florida, I am definitely not liking the remaining gut I am sporting. It looks like I’ve indulged in too many Whoppers and Budweisers. I intend to find some time for ellipticizing and counting calories. My aim is to get back into my single digit pants by September.

Here’s hoping I can find the time. Or, more realistically, that Bimmer will let me put her down long enough for me to actually start taking care of myself.

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