Remember a few months ago when I
had a nervous breakdown because Puff refused to double-flush and clogged the
toilet late on a Sunday night? Well, perhaps you should re-read that
first.
Now add two months more of hormonal and emotional imbalance and cue a
recent Sunday morning, when I was 39 weeks preggers. In my 20,000 bathroom trips
a day, I go through a lot of toilet paper. And I hate to change the roll. For
some reason, it's just at a hard angle to reach, especially with this big ol'
bump, and I try to leave it out for Puff whenever possible. Yet, like my dad, he
always picks on me about not changing it. So, I sucked it up and went to change
it after it was empty.
Since our toilet is cheap and our plumbing is old, we have a weird thing
where the toilet flushes completely twice with each push of the handle. By the
time I went to the hallway, got a fresh roll, and came back in, the toilet was
still running. I hadn't put the seat down, and in all my pregnant clumbsiness, I
managed to drop the plastic thing that holds the toilet paper to the wall...
dropped it into the toilet.
The flushing toilet.
And since I'm so pregnant and awkward, by the time I was able to bend down
to stick my hand in the water to grab it, the toilet finished flushing. And it
took the plastic piece with it.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!
I folded into a pile of tears and self-hatred, since I knew there was no
way that would go through the plumbing and us just be able to pretend like it
never happened. Puff flushed it with just water, and of course, it went down OK.
But the second he tried to flush any paper down, it got clogged. After both of
us took showers, we had to call the plumber. Again. They're beginning to like
our stupidity.
The plumber was great and he told us as soon as he got here that he would
have to remove the entire toilet and reach up into it to get the plastic piece
out. Except, the first attempt, he couldn't get it. It wasn't in the trap. It
was caught in the zig-zaggy part, so it would require a more heavy-duty tool and
a lot more effort. At that point, we were informed that if he couldn't get it
out, we would be talking about having to buy and install a new toilet. Yeah,
that sounded like exactly what I wanted to hear as I was holding back tears and
writing on my private blog about how I felt like a waste.
Thankfully, he was able to fish it out. And he even spent a lot of extra
time reinstalling the toilet and trying to get it level (it had been a little
wonky on our old, uneven floors) and recaulked the entire thing. He even
replaced one of the pieces on the bottom for us at no charge. And even though
some other thing to straighten out the toilet was recommended, he said if we
were OK with it not sitting entirely level, the $400 for that would be better
spent on our baby. Damn straight!
The lesson in all of this? I am not allowed to change the toilet paper roll
ever again. I also should probably close the toilet lid immediately after use,
so not to tempt fate and have anything else fall in there that doesn't belong.
Also, it was good practice for when we have a toddler. Puff said he may have to
buy a toilet lock before then, just to keep me from causing any more $300+
plumber visits.
Just a reminder that tomorrow will be Bimmer's birthday! So, my
apologies for being MIA for a few days. I will be back as quickly as I can with
updates on her arrival, plus, I have about 18 pre-written posts that I can pull
from to keep you reading! Send lots of good thoughts and prayers tomorrow for an
easy labor. Those exist right?
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