Breathing Room

 

I'm not gonna lie... for the past 5 weeks, I had really, really, been hoping I would never get to this entry. I was hoping there would be photos of a squishy baby to post, instead of photos of an increasingly squishy me. I am disappointed this pregnancy has taken so long. If only because I was sorta given false hope by the fact that I was already dilated last week. Not to mention the fact that Bimmer is riding so low in there. I'm pretty sure if I had sex right now, she'd get poked in the head.

Oh yeah... and I was having regular contractions at about 11 minute intervals for several hours on two separate occasions! I was soooo close! In fact, I was having those contractions when I took my 38 week photos. I figured I might as well try to get them in under the wire. Little did I know, I had a bit more time.

I'm tired of my gigantic boobs. I'm tired of my carpal tunnel. I'm tired of my thighs that rub together. I'm tired of not being able to sit with my legs together. I'm tired of not being able to properly groom myself because I have to give an Olympic effort to shave my legs or cut my toenails. I'm tired of my double chin. I'm tired of not being able to sleep, sit, stand, or walk comfortably. I'm tired of peeing every half hour. I'm tired of being afraid to venture too far from the house. I'm tired of not being able to do all the things I used to be able to do. I'm tired of feeling like my body has been overtaken by some strange alien who is transforming me into something and someone else!

Although, with that being said, I'm actually more OK with this stage of pregnancy than I was with those first 12 nausea-filled weeks at the start. Those totally sucked worse.

One bright side? I have successfully avoided getting the linea negra (dark line from belly button) and my belly button never popped out. Oh yeah, and I have no stretch marks!

So... what did the doctor have to say today????

Ha... pretty much nothing new. I really wish all these damn doctors would get on the same page with their information. The basic gist is that I am now 80% effaced and 3cm dilated, but they won't induce me this week because it's my first baby. The hospital won't let them induce earlier than 39 weeks without legitimate concern. And since the baby isn't over 8 lbs. (or they don't think she is yet) that's not an option.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Every visit their information changes. And I'm tired of it. I'm also overwhelmed. I greatly appreciate everyone's concern, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I can't be texting, emailing, calling, and Facebooking everyone at once. My priorities are my husband, my father, and my mother. From there, everyone will get information in due time. You *know* I will be keeping you updated if I go to the hospital. So let's just please leave it at that for right now.

I just need a minute to breathe.