Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What's Your Number?

If you heard that a man in his thirties had slept with 30 women, would that shock and appall you? What if it was 50? 100? When is a number more than just a number, and rather a direct reflection of someone's moral compass? Or is it always a direct correlation to the type of person you are? Does the number of people we have slept with in our past somehow lay the path for our sexual future?
 
It seems everyone has a differing opinion on the whole "What's Your Number" conversation. Do you need to know or just want to know? Or, on the flip side, do you not care? Or do you pretend to not care because you're afraid of what the answer may be? Puff doesn't know my number. I would gladly tell him, if he asked. But he won't ask. In fact, I believe I've tried to freely give out the information and he won't take it. Meanwhile, I've been racking my brain for the past 3 years trying to do the math and correlate his stories to come up with a number that he knows, but won't tell me. Even though I want to know. Dude... we're married. Just tell me already. It won't change my opinion of you! (Plus, we already know I'm a much bigger slut than he is!)
 
And are there different reactions to a girl's number versus a guy's? Well, duh. A girl tells you that she's slept with 30 people and you automatically assume she's a walking case of syphilis. A guy tells you that and you're like, "Well, that's less than I expected, so that's good." Or you're high-fiving him because you are proud of his sexcapades. Yet, how do you broach the subject of The Number when you are with someone? And when is the right time? If you're genuinely curious and non-judgemental about it, like me, then I figure it'll come up pretty quickly. Probably right around the time I start telling you my favorite story about that Kiwi bus driver in Austria! ::Insert halo:: But do you need to have The Number talk before you jump into bed with someone? Or is it really just more important to find out if they don't have herpes? (I vote the second option.) I can't imagine a one night stand having a DTN (determine the number) convo before commencing with some raunchy clothes ripping.
 
Do we put too much stock in knowing the number? What solace does knowing it bring? Do you expect someone with a higher number to be better in bed? Do you hesitate to jump into something sexual with a rookie? (I vote yes on that one.) Do you suddenly change your opinion of someone because the number is higher than you want it to be? Yet, how do you judge someone for their number? OK, so I know how some people could judge others on the number, but I guess, what I'm getting at, is that I don't understand why that happens. So, the man of your dreams has been with 62 other women before you? That freaks you out? Well, then you need to stop and think for a minute. Is he committed to the current relationship or are you just doing it to get laid? If the answer matches up to your own wishes, then screw it. Screw him. Just wear a rubber.
 
I do think, however, if you are ashamed of your number, then perhaps you should've thought about that in the first place. Put the penis down, ladies, if you don't want a certain stigma. And men, lay off the vagina if you want a good Southern Baptist woman to marry. I hear they're much more particular about that sorta thing than us lapsed Catholics. Or at least they're supposed to be. I'm of the school of thought that you need to be able to live with the decisions you make. No regrets. If you make the bed, you need to be able to lie in it. Just preferably with a sexy, ripped six-pack of accented goodness on top of you.
 

1 comment:

The Fischer Family said...

That's funny because I went with a group of friends to see "The Help" the other night and there was a trailer for a movie about this very thing. My friend's fiance was a bodyguard for Poison so of course at some point she was curious. I mean hello...a body guard for Poison. So she asked him and his response was "Well, it's more than 10, but let's just leave it at that. You really don't want to know." And he was right, after that, she really didn't want to know! lol