Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My man, Newt


I hate politics.

No, really. I mean it.

I hate how heated people get about it. And how it turns normal, functioning human beings into rabid, crazed, lunatics. Namely, my husband. I hate how fiesty he gets when someone doesn't agree with his line of thinking. That is exactly why politics are not discussed in our home. He can discuss them at work or with his friends. Or heck, even with my Grandma. But not me. Nope. The only politics I will even begin to discuss is how I can't believe gay marriage still isn't legal (ridiculous, right?) and how Sarah Palin totally makes me want to take a vacation to Alaska.

That's it.

So when I recently found myself at the same place and same time as a Republican rally, it was as if the political gods were laughing at the karma bestowed upon me. Living in the great state of South Carolina apparently means that I'm supposed to be a die-hard Republican and be crazy excited about how much winning our state means to the candidates. Yeah... that doesn't really work for me. Not that I'm opposed to Republicans, or Democrats for that matter, but because I just can't get swept up into the hoopla. So when I found myself chatting small talk with the camera man from CNN and then one from FOX News, my inner self was giggling. Puff would be so jealous!

As I found my way out of the sea of old men in suits who wanted to rape me with handshakes, I was stopped behind another posse of candidate chasers. I stepped to the side as I saw who they were fawning over... Newt Gingrich. I'm not even 100% sure why I realized who he was, but there he was, walking straight toward me, and his eyes were fixed on ME. Yes, on the little non-political girl who was just trying to get the heck away from these people! And wouldn't you know it? His eyes never left me. And he completely ignored the 30 or so people who were acting like groupies at a Justin Bieber concert, and he walked straight up to me. He put one hand on my shoulder and shook my hand. I said it was nice to meet him and he told me how fantastic I looked in the color shirt I was wearing. And he told me to wear it more often. And then, to have a nice day.

With that, I smiled, and left him to his admirers. All the while, I couldn't help but laugh because he had once met my friend, who is a reporter, and he told her he really liked her sweater. I guess that's his go-to compliment for the ladies. Hey... whatever works! I just added this story to the roster of hilarious encounters with random people I have had in my life. Puff's favorite is still the time I was talking to this old man at a dinner banquet about the weather. A few minutes later, he walked off to the bathroom and a friend came running up to me to ask if I knew who I was just talking to. My answer? "Some old white dude?"

Imagine my surprise when they said it was Joe Biden. Ya know... the Vice President. Stupid me. Maybe I should watch the news a little more often. Or maybe not. Old white dudes pretty much all look alike.

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