Ever feel like you've got a choice to make but you're totally dreading it?
Since I'm anal retentive for planning ahead as much as humanly possible, I've been questioning lately a lot about where our family will end up once we bring our unconceived children into this world. I've been less than 100% happy at work lately. Don't get me wrong... I totally love the actual work I do. But the office politics are so not my scene. And the working nights and weekends are becoming more frequent, and therefore, more frequently a pain in my ass. Plus, there are some changes on the horizon for the fall and I'm feeling a bit pushed into a corner and taken for granted, while at the same time, taken advantage of. Fingers crossed and prayers said that it doesn't come to drastic measures.
I'm just starting to worry how this job will affect not only my time, but my sanity and my overall health, once I have babies at home. It's a field I love and excel in, but it's also a field that is not very conducive to free, unscheduled, spontaneous time. It already drives Puff crazy sometimes. Can you imagine how crazy it would drive children who want their mother? Yes, I realize this is a burden I shouldn't need to be shouldering right now. But Puff always tells me that I have to have something to worry myself over. And for the past week or so, this has taken the cake.
We absolutely love living in South Carolina, but I wonder if being near family would be easier during those prime years of having small children at home. Does moving back to The Fort come into play at any point in time? Or do we take the opportunity to ship Puff off to Germany for a 2 year stint with his company? This would afford me 2 years to be at home with small children before they're school-aged. But can I stand to be in a foreign country at home every day? Talk about a test of my sanity! Although it might lead to some good blogging!
Or do we look at me taking a year or two off work and just staying here, in good ol' SC, and taking some time away from the hustle and bustle of the corporate world? Can we afford to do that? Or does our dreaded fear of having to go camping for "vacation" keep me in a job so we can afford the luxuries of life we're used to? Ya know... like a hotel room. (Vacation is totally in quotes on purpose, since camping is seriously, no frickin' vacation!)
Again, this is a pre-mature state of panic I'm experiencing right now. And I appreciate you not laughing at me for it. Insight from parents who live away from the support of their family would be completely welcome. Or suggestions for 9am-5pm, Monday thru Friday jobs would be OK too!