One recent night, I was curled up in bed with a stomach ache. Puff was coughing and hacking and blowing his nose in the other room. Bimmer was curled up on his chest with a fever. We were a pitiful bunch. My mind was wandering, as usual, but kept coming back to land on one thing...
How in the world could we ever do this with a SECOND child?
Before I was pregnant with Bimmer, we were very adamant that we were going to try for Irish Twins. We wanted two and we wanted them close in age. I wanted to let my body go through it all at once and then be able to focus on getting back into bikini shape after all was said and done. Puff was worried he was getting too old and wanted to have the babies before he felt like a grandpa. I hated being an only child growing up, so we wanted Bimmer to have a sibling.
Then reality sunk in.
I hated being pregnant. I felt like crap and was tired and sick most of the 9 months. I had a scary delivery and it took 5 weeks to feel like my insides weren't going to fall out after my c-section. With Bimmer being in daycare, she has been sick off and on the entire time. She also doesn't sleep in her crib. She is active and chatty and demanding. She wants and requires constant attention and interaction. She has never once been "chill." Puff and I have had 4 dates since she was born. We haven't routinely slept in the same bed in nearly a year and a half. When Bimmer goes to bed, so does Mommy. Who could even think about finding the energy to work on making a second baby?
Then Puff decided to start talking about the finances of a second child.
Twice the daycare. Twice the diapers. Twice the carseats and clothes and sick days. That was when panic started to set in. And I honestly, for the first time ever, started to contemplate being the mother of an only child. We would be able to provide for her and never worry. We would be able to travel the world much easier. I wouldn't have to go through another pregnancy. We would be able to stay in our current house much longer than if we had a second. But....
The only thing Puff and I have officially decided is that we aren't making a final decision. Not right now. We have a lot to think about in the next year or so. I agree that I don't want to wait a long time to have a second, if that's the choice we make. But I'm also not ready to rush into getting pregnant right now either. Not when I spend every waking second at home chasing the little over-achiever who is already pulling herself up to stand!!!
So for all of those bump-watchers, you can stand down for the time being. We'll be sure to keep you in the loop when the time comes.