Monday, August 6, 2012

The Ex Factor

Mr. Smith is engaged.

I found out via his woman's tagged Facebook photo of the ring.

Finding out that way? Yeah... very disappointing.

Let's back up for a second. Let's recap our relationship. Mr. Smith and I met in the summer of 2001 and dated off and on for two years. There was lots of love and lots of tears, broken hearts and bruised egos. Following a friendship hiatus, we made our amends in 2005 and realized our lives were much fuller with each other around. Sure, there were attempts to rekindle something romantic, but they always seemed to fall short. After my advances failed in 2008, I met Puff and Mr. Smith gave his blessing. He attended our wedding, wrote guest blogs (HERE and HERE), and we saw each other for the last time in September 2011. I was 6 weeks pregnant and desperately wanted to tell him, but Puff and I had agreed not to tell anyone until our first ultrasound. It was the hardest thing to not be able to tell Mr. Smith in person about the baby.
But just as when Puff had proposed, there was a short list of people we wanted to make sure heard the news directly from us versus social media. Mr. Smith was on that list for both occasions. I felt it was the least I could do for a man I considered one of my best friends in the entire world.
He didn't return the favor.
Yet, does he owe me that? No. Is it wrong to think that he would have run it by me before it happened or right after? Of course. He doesn't owe me anything. While I still consider us friends, we are ex's and there's no obligation there. He lives his own life and I live mine. We've burnt the bridge of us ever being together. We tried and it didn't work. He is happy for me and Puff and Bimmer. Just as I am happy for him and his fiance' and his future step-daughter.
I'm being selfish.
I would have liked to have gotten a text from him about it. It stung and it stunned me that didn't happen. After all we've been through together and everything we have confided in each other, I just never expected to be blindsided by this news.
That's not to say it isn't happy news. I am thrilled he has found the woman he wants to be with forever. I wish them absolutely nothing but the best.
Just as long as they don't run away to Greece to elope...

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