Hi, my name is Bimmer.
I am 11 weeks old.
I fart when I get really mad.
I absolutely refuse to sleep in my crib.
I am a spoiled brat who insists on being held virtually all the time.
I want to nap on Mommy's chest versus anywhere else. This ensures you can't get anything else done.
I have decided I like to watch the rain and will want you to sit on the hardwood floor in front of the door holding me to let me accomplish this.
I like Elmo videos on YouTube. This is now a fact of your life, Mommy. So, suck it up and put on "I'm Elmo & I Know It" for the 400th time today. You know it's the only time of the day I will actually sit still. "Criminal Minds" just doesn't do it for me, no matter how hard you try to make me like it.
I prefer to poop twice a day. You must do whatever is in your power to make this happen. Otherwise, I vow to be very cranky.
I learned how to blow spit bubbles, so I plan to keep doing so until I have it mastered. Please have clean onesies and a burp cloth on hand at all times.
I love you, Mommy and Daddy, super much. Thanks for taking such good care of me.