Yeah, yeah. You know the rest.
The past 8 months, I was just another person in the unemployment line. I baked Bimmer til the bitter end and I have spent every second since 4:53am on May 24th doting on her every need. The job hunt was ridiculous. I was blatantly denied jobs because of my pregnancy. On the flip side, I turned down several requests for second interviews, plus one job offer, because of laughably low salaries. $10 an hour for part-time work is not a valid reason to put Bimmer in daycare.
Imagine my surprise when I got a request for an interview for a job I didn’t even remember applying for! It probably happened like this… the week was ending and I needed to get in my 4 required inquiries. Puff had Bimmer in the other room, probably screaming. So I just did a quick online search, and sent off my saved Careerbuilder resume to the first few legitimate looking jobs. No cover letter. No references.
It took a week from the first contact until I had a written offer in hand. It was a week spent battling a wide array of emotions, sleepless nights, discussions and tiffs with Puff, and countless tears falling on Bimmer’s head as I cried nearly every time she fell asleep in my arms.
I wanted to do what was best for Bimmer. And I had no idea the answer.
At Puff’s urging, the decision was made that it was time to go back to work. Who knew when another decent offer would land on my plate. This job is in the same industry I had been working the past 5 plus years, only without those big December/January projects. (No boats! Yay!) The location is less than 15 minutes from the house, comes with all the standard perks, and the money was spot on what I was asking. There are still potentially some nights and weekends, but it was presented to me in a way that leads us to believe it won’t be as frequent as with my previous job. Also, my boss is very family oriented and even played “Mr. Mom” for awhile, so he understands that there will be sick days and doctor’s appointments reserved for Bimmer.
For those of you who knew me before I had Bimmer, it is sure to come to you as a surprise that I was even considering wanting to stay home. The reality is that we would have to sacrifice in a lot of ways in order for that to happen. And for right now, we aren’t willing to do that. We want Bimmer to have the most amazing life we can give her, and financially, we need that second income to do that. We may change our minds in a few months, but we had always planned for me to work. So I need to get back to it.
Now comes the daunting task of finding a nanny within the next 2 to 3 weeks. We will eventually be getting Bimmer into a church daycare at the top of our street, but we are still waitlisted awhile longer. After a lot of thought, Puff and I decided that having a nanny come to the house was the best temporary option for us. Especially since there aren’t any other legitimate daycares in a convenient area. I refused to drive a half hour out of my way to the suburbs. That just meant more time away from her.
And I have a feeling I am going to need as much cuddle time as possible.
This adjustment is going to be rough. It’s going to be way harder than I ever thought it would be. At the end of the day, I know I am doing it for Bimmer. I am doing it because I love her. I am doing it because I have to. My mom did it. My aunts did it. My friends all are doing it too. When Bimmer is 16 weeks old, I will become a working mother.
Here’s hoping I have the strength to make it.