Sunday, September 4, 2011

Half Life

In more archive digging, I found this entry from back in 2007, when I was just 25 years old. (Names have been changed!)

Someone made mention to me in random conversation something about being in our 40s someday. And that got me thinking that being in my 40s will make me almost 50. And being 50, is twice the life I've lead already. It's crazy to think about it... Where will we all be in twice our life? Who will be married? Who will be divorced? Who will have kids and who will have kids with stupid names? Will we still be in jobs we have now or will we be retired or stay at home parents? Where will we have traveled? What will we have seen? How much better...or worse... can life get in twice as long?
Looking back to the mid-point of my current life, we'll round and say I was a 7th grader. Wow... 7th grade was half my life ago? As in 7th grade, the big transition from elementary school to the middle/high school? As in 7th grade when I had super big crushes on high school boys like Tony and Matt? As in my 7th grade school picture was me wearing a tie! Yeah, that picture was at least cute though. I don't remember who I shared a locker with, or what it was decorated in. I don't remember much about most of my classes. I do remember having a Power Rangers pencil that I was pretty fond of... and a creepy social studies teacher who paid me a little too much attention. I got my first period... wearing my Troy Aikman jersey no less... AND... white jeans. Thank goodness there wasn't any accident on that day!! Talk about mortifying!!! I had a crush on Tommy, who was a grade above us, and probably was pretty much in love with Billy and Joey for whatever reason. We had code names like "Tree" and "Yankee" and "Scooter" for most of them to write about them in code in our notes we passed... since my English teacher found a note I had written to Meg about how hot Joey was and read it to the entire class. Ironically, I was absent that day.
There's been a lot of life since then too... graduations and boyfriends and endless hours driving around in my car. International travel and moving and divorce and new friends. It's been pretty spectacular up until now, really. In the grand scheme of things. I haven't wanted much that I didn't get. I have seen amazing places and met amazing people. I made life-long friends and probably a few enemies. I met the man of my dreams, saw my best friend get married and have a baby, and even became financially independent. It's pretty crazy, all of it. But in retrospect, I've loved almost all of it. And so I hope I can take that outlook into the next phase of my life... and that the next time I reminiss about my half-life, I'll be reminissing about 2007... and wishing I was still this skinny...

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