Birth Plan

As the days pass by and we inch closer to Bimmer's arrival, Puff and I have been taking the time to catch up on reading our pregnancy books. "What to Expect" is the gold standard and has proven helpful. A book called "Let's Panic About Babies" was not nearly as funny and/or informative as I had hoped, so I'd suggest skipping that. One book an ex recommended to me (of all people, lol) for Puff is "Dad's Pregnant Too."

I'm so glad I gifted it to him at Christmas. It's informative but funny. It has real-life stories that help make him realize he's not the only dude out there feeling or thinking a certain way. And I'm really just proud of him that he's actually reading it.

One recent lazy Sunday morning, we were curled up in bed together and he was reading his book. Sometimes he'll read parts outloud to me that are funny or interesting. This particular day, he was reading about the birth plan. And I loved what it listed as a typical guy's version of this plan...

1) Drive to hospital

2) Cheer her on during labor

3) Take lots of photos

4) Celebrate and sleep

I've been reading a lot lately in books, blogs, websites, etc. that I need to have this elusive "birthing plan" all written out and ready to go. Now, we all know, I'm a sucker for a good structured plan. (My husband doesn't tell me I'd make a good Nazi for nothing!) But for some reason, the whole concept seems sorta, well, unnecessary. My birth plan isn't very far off the plan in Puff's book...

1) Drive to hospital

2) Get drugs

3) Have baby

4) Take lots of photos

5) Celebrate

I understand that it helps some women, especially if they have random and specific needs or concerns. (Sitting on a birthing ball, perhaps. Could you just see my coordination trying to do that?) My biggest concern? Get this damn baby out of me as quickly and safely as possible.

I've always been that way about anything medical. Whether you're drawing my blood, removing a roach baby from my abdomen, or prodding around in my uterus, I don't want to know anything about what you're doing. Just do what you need to do and let me know if you need me to do anything specific to assist you. I'm approaching giving birth with the same mentality. Tell me to push when I need to push and we'll be golden.

And for the love of Ryan Gosling, do not ask me if I need a mirror to watch the birth. Puff's book said that could be a "motivator" to keep pushing. I'm pretty sure being exhausted, in pain, and wanting to meet Bimmer will be enough motivation, thankyouverymuch. I don't think seeing all that's happening down there will do anything other than scar me for life.