Thursday, March 15, 2012

Public Pubes

Dear Public Toilet Users,


Am I seriously the only person ever who leaves a toilet seat clean after use? (Or at least clean to the naked eye?)


Because as a pregnant woman with an over-active bladder, I'm becoming quite the connoisseur of public restrooms. And some things that the rest of you "ladies" are doing in there are starting to perplex and irritate me.


Is it really that hard to FLUSH the toilet after you've left a giant shadooby in there? Even at 7 months pregnant, I can hike my foot up high enough so I don't have to touch the handle with my hand.


Is it really that hard to not pee on the seat? I get that some of you are hoverers, which is fine. But can you at least wipe off the dripples when you're done?


Is it really that hard to not grunt when you're clearly not alone in the bathroom? I'm pretty confident I overhear a woman coaxing herself into doing her business at least once a week.


And lastly, is it really that hard to not leave your pubes on the seat? A recent trip to Publix had me in the FOURTH stall before I found a toilet without an errant hair lounging and staring at me from the bright white seat. What are you women doing? Is the 70s porn-star look coming back? Am I out of the loop in pubic hair fashion trends? Because last I checked, I didn't ever want my hair-down-there to be long enough to fall off and curl up in public view.


So, I would greatly appreciate your assistance in helping me out with these issues. Since we all have to share public facilities, let's try to make it a more pleasant experience for everyone.

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