Thursday, September 26, 2013

Throwing in the Towel

I try not to gripe too much on this blog (that's what my private one is for) but today, I'm making an exception.

We are standing smack-dab in the middle of a shit storm in our family right now. I'm throwing up my hands, in the towel, and waving a white flag.

It all started a few weeks ago when I got a call from daycare early on a Tuesday afternoon. Bimmer had been coughing so badly that she made herself sick and I needed to come get her. No big deal. It became a bigger deal when I got there and realized she also had a fever, which meant she couldn't go to school the next day. Puff and I arranged a split shift for that Wednesday at work and went on with trying to make the baby feel better.

I was super ready for her to get back to school on Thursday. I had the lunch packed and the clothes picked out. Until we woke up and she still had a fever. Puff and I had had a conversation the night before, about "what if" she was still sick. So when he left for work, I expected him home at lunch. When I hadn't heard from him, I texted him. Apparently, he thought I was taking an entire day off work. Woah buddy... not so fast! So he packed up and came home.
Did I mention that we were scheduled to leave the next day to start our family vacation?
We decided to go ahead and hit the road anyway on Friday morning, since Bimmer was acting a little better. Her fever wasn't as bad and she did really well in the car on the way to Savannah. Of course, it wasn't until we were out on a boat with no medicine, no inhaler, nothing, that she decided to get sick again. (More on our trip in an upcoming post!)
Now that's a baby that doesn't feel well :(

She got better during our trip and when we got home, she was awesome for a few days. (Even after Puff left town for a few days for business.) Until last Saturday night. Puff and I had a great date night and the Nanny took care of Bimmer for us for a few hours. Around midnight, I heard the baby coughing. Except, after a second, I knew it wasn't normal coughing. I went into her room, flipped on the light, and watched her vomit all over herself. She was already covered in it before I got in there, so I just let her go. It was on her sheets, bumper, pajamas, hands, hair, and eventually all over me and the rug on the floor.

That night, she got sick 3 more times in bed with me. More changes of clothes. More changes of sheets. She wasn't herself on Sunday, but she wasn't puking. I was just over her being sick. I needed my baby to get better. I was feeling the strain of it all... in my marriage, in my life. But, oh no, we weren't done.

Monday night, the baby coughed all. night. long. She would just scream at some points... I didn't know what to do for her. Was she just tired? Was she in pain? I was giving her medication, cuddling her, letting her sleep in bed with me. I got about 2 1/2 hours sleep that night. The next few days at work, I was dragging. I was in training for a new software, and it required my full attention, and it wasn't there. I was stressed to the max and overwhelmed. When she coughed for 3 hours straight Tuesday night, I was almost in tears.

Why couldn't my baby catch a break? I needed things to get back to normal.

We also found out in the midst of all of this that Puff's aunt died. And his mom is basically guilt-tripping him into going to the funeral. In Illinois. Meaning, he is leaving town for a few days. Just what I needed. In the middle of all of this... the stress, the tears, the anxiety. I need help with Bimmer, and he's going to be gone. All weekend. Three days of being a single parent. Again, too soon. I can't do it.

But I will, because that's what I have to do. I won't like it though. Not for a funeral for someone he hasn't talked to since our wedding over three years ago.

Then last night happened. I got home from a super long and stressful day at work and wasn't feeling well. Thankfully, Puff took over baby duty and I laid on the couch until she was in bed. I tucked her in and went to bed myself, just after 8pm. It wasn't twenty minutes later that I was hanging over the toilet. Stomach bug. Seriously?!?

I had to take off work today, since I was definitely not better. I've not gotten sick since early this morning, but I feel like it could come again any second. The universe is against me this month and I am ready for October to get here. I am ready for this to move on and get back to some sense of normalcy.

1 comment:

The Fischer Family said...

Bless your heart! You're getting your butt kicked this month! Prayers that everybody gets well soon!