Thursday, July 25, 2013

Rally Together, Moms

The longer I'm a mom, the more I want to smack other moms in the face.
Here's the deal... your kid isn't perfect, so quit trying to make it seem like they are. Having a kid is difficult sometimes, so quit trying to pretend you've got it all under control. Your cover has been blown. Other moms are looking at you like you're an idiot.
Do I love Bimmer unconditionally, despite her flaws? Of course. But I would never try to pawn off on you guys that she's some sort of angel. Nope, she has officially played in the toilet. An angel wouldn't dare. She's a spastic, chaotic, and busy child.
If your baby sleeps through the night from an early age, count your blessings. It's OK to mention it here or there, but stop bringing it up almost every day in conversation at work. Especially when you are fully aware that one of your co-workers has a 9 month old who wakes sometimes every hour. You are insanely lucky, but you can stop bragging about it. Plus, we don't always believe you anyway. You'd say anything to trick yourself into thinking your baby is better than everyone elses.
And for the love of North West, will you stop whining and complaining on Facebook about how horrible it is to send your kid to daycare. If it's so bad, just stay home with them then. Yes, I will occasionally post about daycare (like the day her shoes wouldn't stay on so she had to sit on the bench on the playground, or the time they fixed her hair into white-girl cornrows) but it's not a daily whine-fest about the fact that I have to take her to begin with. I understand you want to spend more time with your child. I get it. I share that daily struggle. However, most of the women I see who are so vocal about it are people who don't work Fridays or whose kids are only in daycare part time. Seriously? There are times in my job where I am lucky to be home by 8pm to spend ONE HOUR with Bimmer before she goes to bed. If you work an 8am-5pm job (or less) then enjoy your child. Spend as much of that time with them as you can. But please stop trying to make the rest of us feel bad for sometimes having to work more. You are lucky, not deprived.
Lastly, while I am on the topic of moms who are lucky, but don't realize it... if you have your family nearby, and they even occasionally take your children, you are the luckiest people on the planet. I am so tired of moms not comprehending that there are situations out there where family is not an option. I live more than 400 miles from my closest family member. There are no regular date nights. There is not the option of Grandma keeping Bimmer if she's sick and has to stay home from school. There is no one who can pick her up early from daycare just to snuggle with her when I have to work late. Bimmer is missing out on the constant connection with her grandparents that I was lucky enough to have with mine when I was young. I have zero sympathy for people who complain when their family is actively involved in the lives of their little ones. I never would have even thought about this had I not become a mom.
I have good friends who have sick babies. I have close friends whose babies had trouble nursing or sleeping or were late to crawl or walk. Bimmer has come with her own set of challenges, mostly in the areas of food and the fact that she's just non-stop. I complain sometimes, as we are all entitled to do. But I know how lucky I am to have her. I am lucky she is healthy. I am lucky that, in general, she is a content child. Life could be a lot worse. I just wish that some moms I've run across would understand the same. We need to support each other, not knock each other down. Brag when it's necessary, and hold back when you know others are struggling. Be aware that you're not the center of the universe, nor is your child.
And on that note, my work phone is ringing at 6:45am and Bimmer is stretched asleep across the middle of the bed and Puff is already out the door. Just another day in my paradise.

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