Thursday, February 10, 2011

That Ex Factor

I was talking with someone recently and they asked me this question:
"Do you think your ex reads your blog?"
I actually had a very brief moment of panic. It had never occured to me that men from my past might be reading my inner-most thoughts. Of course, my panic comes much more in the form of my old private blog than this one. But still. Now, I know some of the men from my past are friends with me on Facebook, so they very easily have access to this blog. And that's OK. Obviously, if I'm still friends with them, I couldn't care less if they read my mindless ramblings.
However, what about the other men? The most recent ex, for example, was the one this person was referring to specifically. It's not like I'm sitting here bashing him or airing all his dirty laundry (although I totally could... and those of you who still are friends with him probably wouldn't be anymore if you knew what he said about you) but I am airing some of MY own dirty laundry. And do I really want him knowing that? Or is it to the point, 3 years after we broke up, where it just doesn't matter anymore?
It's actually hilarious to stop and think about it for a second... because Lord knows he's not snooping around the internet looking for a new blog that doesn't have my name or email or anything attached to it. He'd only be able to find it through mutual friends sharing the information with him. And I'm pretty confident that's not happening. But the reality is, that yes, 3 years have passed. That's a long frickin' time! We both are married now and have moved on with our lives. And knowing that I could not be happier with the path my life has taken since that break-up, makes me not worry one second longer about him stumbling across this blog.
And if he did? Well, I don't think he'd find much of interest to him. The only reason ex's go snooping around is to reaffirm to themselves that their life turned out better than the other person's. I'm guilty of it myself in my past, for sure. And so, if he comes around snooping to find that, he won't. I'm not saying my life is necessarily any better than his, but it certainly isn't any worse. I'm so blessed to have the most fantastic husband in the world, a great job that I love, an adorable house, supportive family & friends, a nice car, and a schedule so jam-packed I don't have a free weekend until mid-June... which even includes a trip to Scandinavia.
He'd be hard-pressed to top that!

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