Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My Very Own Blueberry

Ever feel like something extraordinarily horrible is just out to get you? Be it the mean lunch lady in a hair-net or the angry armadillo hiding under your house? Well, I think I've finally met my match.
My car.
I've always had an SUV... my first car was a fabulously fun Toyota Rav4 (that was NOT purple, fortheloveofgod) and since then, I've been hooked. Puff can keep his tiny convertible. I want something I can pile people in and haul luggage and Christmas trees in. So, in May 2009, I wiped my slate clean and broke down and bought my first soccer mom car. Yes, I realize I was a few years too early for the baby seats, but I got an insane deal I couldn't refuse. The dealership gave me that awesome discount and I even ended up with a bigger engine than planned... not to mention the sun roof (or is it a moon roof?) and heated seats I hadn't thought I needed.
The problems started in July 2009 when on a girl's trip to Washington DC, my friend realized the speakers on her side of the car weren't working when the Ipod was plugged in. Several rounds of visits and lots of nasty calls to a local dealership later, they finally got the speakers fixed and put in an entire new radio. Problem solved. Cue the next problem. Somewhere around late August 2009, the car decided it was going to bite my ass. And bite it hard. Whenever I would accelerate the first time after the car had been sitting cold for awhile, this strange rumbling/grinding/can't really describe it noise started coming from the rear of the car. We took it to two dealerships and even left it at one for several days, but they could never figure it out.
For about 6 blissful months, there were no problems. Then that weird noise would start again. But it would come and go. Still no one could figure out what it was coming from! My nerves were beginning to be frayed by fall 2010. The car was only a year and a half old when all of a sudden, without any warning, my tires just decided to go flat in the driveway. Yes, I realize this could happen with any car, but it just added fuel to the fire. Then, I've been having that weird noise again since just after Christmas. And it's getting worse. Then today happened...
I backed out of the driveway, narrowly avoiding the lady who pushes her first grader to school in a stroller, and when I went to tap on my brakes, the car locked up and made this monstrously loud grinding metal on metal noise. I reversed and braked and it did it again. I turned and pulled back into the driveway. It did it again. I called Puff. He's 3 hours away on a business trip. Brilliant timing, STUPID ASS CAR. ::sigh:: So, I decided to drive it around the block to see if I needed to have someone come and tow it to the dealership. The monster had apparently dropped off the underside of the car, since the noise stopped, but it was still acting goofy when I was braking. The best thing to do was to call the dealership and drop it off.
Yes, AAA would have been closer, but the car was still under warranty, so why pay if I don't have to? Except the dealership is a good half hour away. After calling work to make sure my morning meetings could be covered, I ventured out. I stayed in the slow lane and didn't dare tailgate. By the time I got to the dealership, the noise was completely gone and the locking up of the brakes had calmed down a little bit. Except there I was... stuck. With no one to come and pick me up to take me to work. I finally made the call to have Enterprise come and pick me up to get me into a rental.
A bit shout out to the 3 cute little guys at the dealership who were trying to convince me to buy a Dodge Ram truck for my next car and for happily joking with me to make the entire situation a little less stressful. Twenty minutes later and I was driving off in my very own blueberry. The Toyota Yaris is officially hysterical. I believe I laughed for the first 5 minutes driving it. Maybe that was another joke by the Enterprise guys. But they don't know who I am. I will totally rock that blueberry for as long as I have to!
Amidst all the frustration, I have finally come to a decision... there will be a new car in my future. I can't justify continued payments on a piece of shit. My parents had another SUV from the same manufacturer and they had radio and battery issues with it. They didn't even have the car a year before they traded it in for something new. I guess I should be counting my lucky stars that my dad has contacts in the industry, so I shouldn't get ass-raped at the end of it all.
So now... Puff will be super excited to do some car shopping! It's like his very own wet dream. Oh, but he'll be shitting himself when I tell him I might want a Toyota! :)

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