New Tunes Tuesday

Remember not long ago when I reviewed the new Nickelback album and mentioned I had gotten another CD the same day? Well, that album was the new Daughtry album, "Break the Spell." And while I was disappointed in Nickelback's latest foray, I was definitely uber-pleased with Daughtry's.

Now, I've been a huge fan ever since I first saw his audition on American Idol all those years back. And I was literally devastated when he lost. He's seriously one of the best singers EVER to be on that show. And his success is proof positive of that. Anyhoo... I've pretty much memorized every lyric to every song already. And I can pretty well guess which songs will be the ones they overplay on the radio. I'm just glad it's a solid project and the songs are spot on to what you expect. No, there's not much growth (although the lyrics I'll put below are from a song with a more country twang to it) but that's OK. If it's not broke, why fix it?

 

I'm pretty much obsessed with songs 9 through 12. (Although apparently there is a deluxe version that has since come out that has extra songs on it. Woops!) My favorite is "Rescue Me" which has that touch of country in it. With all the insanity that has been happening in my life the past month, this song just really resonated with me. Because there are definitely moments where I feel like I am drowning and literally need someone to come to my rescue. This album will probably always be the one that reminds me of this time in my life. My hope is that soon I'll be able to latch on to a more uplifting song and use it to help me come through this depression on the other side. In the meantime, this is the song of the moment. Besides being and feeling relevant to my current debacle, it's just a flat out, good, and catchy song.

 

Two thumbs up to this whole album.

 

"Rescue Me"

Our story's old, older than the wind
It's been in sight for years, how can we pretend
That we all know just how it's gonna end

Rescue me in the middle of the ocean
Crashing down, it's always hard to breathe
Some say, it's easier to give up on it
I say, it's time to rescue me

Lost and lonely people standing by, afraid to try
Some of them here, the same as you and I
The difference is so wrong to be left behind

So I need you now

Rescue me in the middle of the ocean
Crashing down, it's always hard to breathe
Some say, it's hard to make the changes
Rescue me and I'll never be the same

Rescue me in the middle of my darkest hour
Time will tell if I never really had the power
Some say, it's easier to give up on it
I say, it's time to rescue me

We've gotta get out, how foolish have we been
To say it's all been a waste of time
We may lose and we may win
But like the sun we will rise again

But until then

Rescue me in the middle of the ocean
Crashing down, it's always hard to breathe
Some say, it's hard to make the changes
Rescue me and I'll never be the same

Rescue me in the middle of my darkest hour
Time will tell if I never really had the power
Some say, it's easier to give up on it
I say, it's time to rescue me

Rescue me in the middle of the ocean

Unemployed & Unarmed

When you don't have a job, any outing is a good excuse to pull yourself out of bed, shower, and get dressed. That's probably why one day last week, I volunteered to go to the auditor's office for Puff to handle the property taxes on our new Batmobile. And why I excitedly accepted his offer to allow me to accompany him to his consultation at the oral surgeon. Never mind we had to wait over an hour to see the dentist. It was an hour that wasn't spent lounging in my pajamas on my own couch, covered in Poptart crumbs.

However... there was one excursion that put the fear of ten charging linemen in me. A trip to the unemployment office.

When I separated from my job, part of the deal was the unemployment. (Can't go into much else!) I dutifully filed my online claim, followed every last instruction, submitted my resume to the state's job board website, and waited patiently. Until a certain amount of time had passed and my online account was still stuck in neutral with no change in status. I was eventually able to call in my first weekly claim in an attempt to get that first check. However, the lovely automated man on the other end told me there was an unresolved issue with my account and I would have to go into the unemployment office. Imagine all the color draining from my face, because I'm pretty damn sure that's exactly what happened. I even waited a few days and called back to double-check I was hearing it correctly. I even had Puff call to listen!

Nope... there was no escaping it. The automated man very clearly stated I needed to go down to the office. Let the fun times begin!

So last Thursday morning, Puff told his job he would be in late, and we bundled up and headed out into the 32 degree morning and drove downtown to the unemployment office. We got there 35 minutes before they opened and we were the 18th and 19th people in line. We stood surrounded by clouds of cigarette smoke (apparently that's a pre-requisite to being unemployed these days) and a very vocal older gentleman who kept threatening to bang on the doors if they didn't open them right at 8:30am. Yup... I was very glad I had the foresight to take Puff with me. It was definitely no place for a mother-to-be to just casually hang out unattended. Or unarmed.

They finally opened the doors, called a few people out for specific purposes, filed us in to rows of chairs, handed us papers to fill out, and we were told to wait. Until about 9am when another lady came over and informed us that their computer system was down, and it could be down for 15 minutes or 4 hours. She didn't know. Just my fucking luck! I let Puff make the call on waiting or not. After all, he was the one with an actual job to attend that day. We made the call to wait until 10:30am before re-evaluating the situation. A few people got up and left, so we shifted around in the chairs. But someone shifted the wrong way and ended up screwing a lady in the row behind us. She gave Puff the evil eye. I sat squished between a large black lady in a giant puffy coat and Puff, who was equally as broad in those tiny chairs. My cell phone had no service. I had no internet access. And the Chelsea Handler book I was reading started off with a long chapter about masturbation, so I figured I better skip that part. Just in case someone was reading over my shoulder in those cramped quarters.

About 10 minutes into fake reading the second chapter of my book, a lady came and asked our section if anyone was there for a new claim. A few people got up and asked her questions about theirs. Of course, I was totally eavesdropping, since that's what I'm good at doing in a never-ending state of waiting. A lady who had filed around the same time as me hadn't waited long enough for her initial claim to go through, so there was no sense in her sitting and waiting in that hellhole. I jumped up. After having two belligerent people cut in front of me (I wasn't about to fight them!) I finally got to explain my situation to the lady. And you know what she told me? That all new claims get that automated message on the phone system. But if it took the information, and I got the info sheet in the mail, I was good. I showed her the sheet. She said I was good. She said I didn't need to do anything else. (Just if it didn't go through the next week to come back.)

So after spending about an hour and a half there, I was able to walk out. (Now, I won't count my chickens before they hatch. I feel it's inevitable I will end up having to go back sometime soon!) Now I just get to say some really persuasive prayers that everything in their system gets worked out and I am good to go. And that I can find a new job... but that's another rant entirely. When we got back to the house, Puff changed to go to work. (I wouldn't let him go down there with me sporting a $200 cashmere sweater over an oxford with pimp shoes!) His hair was a wreck. I finally insisted he go to a mirror when his futile attempts to lay it flat in the living room weren't working. When he came back out he just grinned and said, "That's my wearing a toboggan in line at the unemployment office hair." Sexy hair, indeed.

Flash Bulb Friday

Ever since Puff and I have been together, the month of January has always been pretty packed on the work front for both of us. (Yeah, now I'm kinda missing that chaos! ::sigh::) But we always seemed to find some time to sneak away on a pretty day to a museum exhibit or to the mountains. One time we even off-roaded in our little convertible to see an iced-over waterfall!

I digress... this picture was from the Caesar's Head overlook in the mountains of South Carolina. We've been there several times before, and the view is always changing. This was one particular Sunday morning in January a few years back where we had the roads to ourselves. There wasn't any snow on the ground yet (that was coming) but it just felt and looked like winter. While I've never been a particular fan of the season, I can find some comfort in knowing that I have Puff by my side to commisserate with on those gloomy, ugly days.

 

Although seeing as we were able to have the top down on the convertible for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, I don't think many of my friends and family up North have much pity for us. At least not when it comes to weather.

Birthdays in Review

Did I just really cross that threshold? Am I really another whole decade older? Is that seriously a THREE at the start of my age?

Yup... it sure is. And I can't escape it. One bright note? I've still yet to have a gray hair. Boo yah.

I can say that I never, in a million frickin' years, expected to be barefoot, pregnant, and unemployed on my thirtieth birthday. That whole unemployed part really sucks whale testicles. (I did a quick Google search for "largest animal testicles." I wouldn't advise doing that yourself.) I feel like not only am I going through the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy, but then add in the typical freak-fest of turning thirty AND the depression that comes with not having a job to go to every day. It's really hard to look at the bright side these days. Welcome to my pity party.

The last year of my twenties was totally rock star. I picked up 5 new countries and 2 new states. I got to see a prison rodeo, for Christ's sake! And most importantly, I succeeded in tricking my husband into donating his sperm to my ever-present fantasy of wanting to become a mother. With all that in retrospect, it's time to look forward to all the cool stuff that will happen in my thirties... namely the fact that I will get to welcome little Bimmer into this world and then see him/her grow up. And somehow, that makes turning thirty seem all that more necessary. And awesome.

____________________________________________________________________

Now, with that stuff out of the way, I feel it necessary to point out the evolution of birthday gifts from my husband over the 4 birthdays we have now spent together. This year was pretty awesome... Dennis Miller tickets anyone? (More on that after the actual event!) So, in backwards order, some prized gifts from Puff over the years...

Please ignore the fact that I'm not wearing real pants.

For my 30th birthday, Puff gifted me a 6 pack of red velvet cupcakes, Kendra's new book, and some sexy pieces from Victoria's Secret. If I can be sexy and pregnant. Apparently he told the sales woman at VS that I don't have a butt, so I don't need a lot of back coverage. LOL! And I can't forget this fabulously awesome t-shirt!

 

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For my 29th birthday, Puff gifted me a cute new outfit and necklace. Plus, purple bra and panties from Victoria's Secret. He felt compelled to model them for me.

 

For my 28th birthday, Puff gifted me a one-of-a-kind ceramic necklace that he had specifically made just for me. Oh yeah, and the ugliest pajama pants in the history of the planet. I love 'em!

 

For my 27th birthday, Puff gifted me with a pink lemonade cake I had always wanted, plus a gnome t-shirt. And can't forget the hot pink vibrator. Hard to top that gift, honey.

Birthdays aren't a huge deal around here... usually a few small gifts, maybe a sweet surprise, and dinner at our restaurant of choice. I will say that Puff is so awesome to have treated me so well on my 30th birthday and I am so grateful to have him to support me right now and make this special occasion pretty awesome. Now if I can only request a big trip for my 40th. Just a hint.

I'm a Housewife

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. Except, right now, I feel like that window is on the 32nd floor of a high-rise and I've got to figure out how in the heck to climb up there.

 

It was with a heavy heart, a twisted wrist, and lots of tears that I resigned from my job two weeks ago. I may have bitched from time to time about nit-picky stuff, but overall, I really, really loved what I did for a living. I had been there for 4 1/2 years and had lots of high hopes for 2012. I was anxious to build on my two most important projects, interact with lots of cool new clients, train a new team member, and pocket an extra week of vacation. Instead, I'm now officially a (temporary) housewife who gets bored and sweeps leaves on the deck into piles and then has to use a snow shovel to get them over the sides into a wheelbarrow on the ground. (Expect more hilarity like that to ensue!)

 

My general manager said last week was the hardest (re: suckiest) week he's ever had in all the years he has been there. That speaks volumes coming from a man who was short on praise for anyone who did anything even remotely well. He mentioned several times to me as I was packing up my office that I had done a great job for the company and that he knew I would go on to succeed and do wonderful things elsewhere. It wasn't until he told me that he wished me the best of luck that I got teary-eyed. I had tried to be so stoic.

 

I will miss having a reason to get up every morning. I will miss the comraderie of the good friends I did make at work. I will miss that interaction with others. I will miss feeling like I have a purpose.

 

 

My good friend, Katie, sent me an email saying that it's "just a job" and I've got the "most important job in the world" on the horizon... being a mother. I need to focus on taking time to de-stress, plan for Bimmer's arrival, and love on my husband for awhile. And clean the house. Puff will not like it if I'm home all day and he comes home to a dirty house. And dinner. Preferably served by me in a slutty outfit and hooker heels. I better get right on that.

 

There will be a lot to think about (re: worry about) in the coming days, weeks, and months. Our lives are forever changed by this situation and we have to figure out a way to muddle through it. I am hopeful I will find the right opportunity at the right time. Yes, I am silently freaking out about the fact that I am 5 months pregnant and no one will want to hire me! On the flip side, Puff is ecstatic that I will have all my weekends free and clear for the foreseeable future. He's already searching for festivals, museums, and activities that we can jump into that we've never been able to do before. I'm glad somewhere there is a bright side to all of this. Because at times, I've been blinded by fear through all these tears.

 

I have faith it will be OK in the end. I just have to accept that I need to live in God's will for awhile and that He will take care of us in our time of need. Both Puff and I are so grateful for my family and all our friends who have been supportive and praying for us during this difficult time. It will turn around, and with you guys on our side, we'll get through it. There's brightness somewhere at the end of this dark cloud. There just has to be.

Move Over Twenties

Today officially marks the last 24 hours of my twenties. While I am having some mixed emotions about the milestone, I can't help but think back to the past decade. I'm sure when I was turning 20, I sat and reflected on all the differences that happened in my life from age 10 to age 20. And while those that happened in my twenties might not be as grandiose or noticeable (going from fifth grade to a sophomore in college is a much bigger jump... lol) but it was, nevertheless, pretty awesome.

 

I met some of my best friends in the world during college. I traveled to far flung New Zealand and drove from South Carolina to Vermont. I drank too much Malibu rum and took way too many embarassing photos. I dated some good guys. I dated some assholes. I married the perfect man for me. I graduated college and found the career path I am destined to be in. I moved to a town where I didn't know anyone and actually fell in love with it. I took up cruising and hiking. I own a home and a nice car. I even learned that I like to eat lobster.

 

Sure, there were hard times and sucky times. I limped through the death of my grandfather. I witnessed 9/11. I survived an abusive relationship and escaped a dead-end one. I lost a job and lived through a terrible car accident. I lost friends through distance and fights. I fucked up and made some bad decisions. I learned a lot and know there's still a lot more to go.

 

As I struggle with some other things going on in my life right now (that I will elaborate on in a few days) I have to know that I have been through so much in the past already. I have perservered and come through in one piece on the other side, sometimes, a lot stronger. I know I can't stop time, so I don't have much choice in the birthday matter. Perhaps I'll just take a cue from my almost-80 year old grandmother and just tell people I'm 29 for the rest of my life. It's seemed to work for her!

Remembering New Years

The 2011 to 2012 New Year's Eve was nothing to write home about. It included a late afternoon gutter-cleaning and yard-raking session, followed by take-out pizza and my pregnant ass in bed by 9pm. Not much different than last year, really, except last year we had a fancy dinner at a local seafood restaurant, where I made love to some halibut and nursed a few raspberry martinis. Bimmer put the nix on the martinis this year. Oh, but there's always next year!

Right... so while the NYE parties have waned and everything has gotten more tame as I've gotten older, I still love to think back to the NYE's of the past decade or so. Like 2002 to 2003 when Mr. Smith ended up puking in the bushes after downing almost an entire bottle of rum on his own. And there was that silly card game and Rowdy's Asian boyfriend who was kind of a dickwad. And I distinctly remember ending up sitting on the floor at one point in front of the liquor cabinet and wondering how I got there. Oh! And Kimhead's date got too drunk, so he couldn't walk her all the way home when it was over. Oh... good times.

Or the 2000 to 2001 party at my dad's bachelor pad where Rowdy brought her fondue pot! And there may or may not be photographic evidence of me and Miss on the deck in the snow sporting bras and a pirate hat. That was also the year I drunkenly knocked a decorative plate into the toilet while there was still pee in the toilet and I had to fish out the pieces with my bare hands! Yuck!!! Or then the 2001 to 2002 party in the ghetto that Mr. Smith took me to where a guy fake proposed to his woman in front of us. And then we ended up at Steak 'n Shake where Mr. Smith fake proposed to me in the middle of the restaurant. Yup... more good times.

However, the best has got to be the 1999 to 2000 New Year's Eve. We were seniors in high school, most of us still only 17 years old. Miss's parents were gone, so we took over her house for a little get together. I think my dad hooked us up with some alcoholic beverages. (Or was it that 23 year old guy that I was talking to on AOL who once stuck his tongue in my ear?) Regardless, there were definitely lots of Zima's with Jolly Ranchers! (Which is hilarious now because apparently Puff also used to drink the same combo back in the day. We were totally destined to be together!) I don't really remember much about that night, but there are lots of photos that I'm sure the guys at Walgreens got a kick out of processing. It was one of those typical teenage nights that has provided me with good laughs for the past 12 years. Sure they're hazy, drunken memories, but they're fun, awesome memories just the same.

 

This photo pretty much sums up that evening.

Or wait...

This was before Miss accidentally dialed 9-1-1- and invited the cops to our shindig!!!! ::insert halo::