Monday, November 19, 2012

Crazy Bitch... And Not the Good Kind

It's no secret that I don't get along with my mother-in-law. I mean, it's like less secret than Patreus and his mistress. We were all fine and dandy until Puff proposed in New York. Then the MIL turned colder than the 18 degree temps the night I got my ring!

I've tried. I really have. I have tried harder than anyone ever should have to try to get along with someone. I've proposed compromises that I would never offer up to anyone else. We schedule trips to see her every few months and we invite her up to see us, even though I hate house guests. Literally. I mean, like, I'd rather make out with Brett Favre than have her spend a weekend at our house.
But whatever we do, it's not enough for her.
She sees us more than we see any other family members. She has seen Bimmer more than any other relative, yet, she's the relative that cares the least. Yup... from where I'm sitting, she doesn't even deserve to see Bimmer.
May we never forget that when Puff told the MIL that we were pregnant, her exact reaction was "I wish I could be happy for you."
Throughout my pregnancy, she had no sympathy for my constant nausea, would change the subject if we brought up the baby, failed to inform anyone at her church that we were expecting, and then never bought anything for Bimmer before she was born. She said she was mad because I had posted a blog about her leaving a washcloth in our tub. Right... because that's a totally legitimate reason to hate your unborn granddaughter.
When she visited the hospital, she never asked how I was doing, wouldn't leave the room when the nurses needed to get me out of bed, told Puff and I what we were doing wrong as parents, and completely ignored my parents when they came in to see the baby. She doesn't call and ask about Bimmer. She even posts Facebook photos of my nieces and comments that they are her "youngest granddaugthers" even when they are at least 6 years older than Bimmer. When she visited for Puff's birthday a few weeks back, she got T-Rex arms at the table and Puff had to pay for his own birthday dinner. Then she spent the rest of the weekend telling us what we were still doing wrong with the baby.
Yeah, definitely the type of person we want to spend time with, right?
With my grandma being very ill (probably haven't mentioned that on here though) Puff and I made the decision to go back to The Fort for Thanksgiving. I haven't been back for the holiday in 9 years. Yup... I haven't seen my family on Thanksgiving in almost a decade. We normally spend Thanksgiving with the MIL, but not this year. Not when my grandma might not live until Christmas. I knew from the second we made that decision that the MIL would be pissed.
I was right.
Apparently she can't depend on us. She insists we are only going to see my family because of a concert I may attend during the trip. And that whole completely logical and legitimate reason we're going back to The Fort, to see my dying grandma? Yeah, that's not good enough for her. Apparently she changed the subject back to her (surprise, surprise) and said if she were dying, we wouldn't even come to see her.
Ya know what? At this rate, I wouldn't be racing down the highway for her. She doesn't deserve it. Not when my mom and Puff's dad love Bimmer with all their heart, but are so far away and so sick they can't even see Bimmer in person. That fact brought me to tears after the MIL's most recent round of selfish behavior.
I know she's Puff's mom. I know I can't revoke her "grandmother" title. But I am done beating around the bush. I would be completely content to never have to see her or deal with her ever again. I've bitten my tongue so hard it's bleeding. We are grown adults and it shouldn't be this difficult.
She is the most selfish person I have ever met.

1 comment:

The Fischer Family said...

I am so sorry you are going through this! I can relate in so many ways (my dad's mom is a crazy bitch too and so is Steven's stepgrandmother!)It is so hard when you love your child so much and you want your spouse's parent to love them as much as you do and they are ambivalent at best! Sounds like she is the kind of grandmother that she was as a mother. Some just don't change! And Bimmer doesn't need that in her life. Sometimes it's better to not have people like that in their lives than to live with all that toxic crap! Keep your head up! You're a great person and MIL can go to hell! lol