In celebration of my dear husband's birthday today, a wonderful moment from the conversations of married people:
Driving home from the grocery store one night...
Puff: When we get home, will you look at this thing on my neck? I think it was a bug bite that turned into a pimple.
Me: I don't think bug bites can turn into pimples.
Puff: Sure they can. It's pretty awesome.
Me: As awesome as the mysterious bump on my stomach that appeared out of no where?
Puff: Is it a bug bite?
Me: Nah... maybe it's a cyst?
Puff: It's a zit.
Me: No... a roach crawled on me in the middle of the night and laid her eggs under my skin.
Puff: So you might have roach babies?
Me: Yup... one day it's just going to open up and tons of little baby roaches are going to crawl out of my stomach, like I'm giving birth to them!
Puff: We should video tape it. It's around Halloween and that would be cool.
Me: Screw video taping it for Halloween. We'd sell that shit to the Today Show and they'd fly us to New York for an interview!
Puff: I like New York. (pause) Sounds like a plan.
We'll keep you posted on the due date for our roach babies!