Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Gimme the Money!


Oh, newbies, you're in for a treat. This is my first big violent rant for you! It's being written with such rage in my heart that I am struggling to concentrate on anything else. And let me just be clear, that while I am engulfed in hatred of stupidity right now, I fully understand that it's ridiculous and stupid and petty. We all get that way sometimes and some of us, more often than others. My latest issues?
 
The ATM.
 
Without FAIL I will always end up getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to trying to get out some cash. Which, is probably the greatest reason that I barely carry 30 cents in my purse on a regular basis. Oh, those people at the Wendy's drive-thru love it when I hand them my debit card for my $2.89 meal. In the past, I have come across such gems as a hoodlum that I'm pretty sure was trying to somehow scam the system and perhaps, break into the machine or the little old lady who wants to prove to herself that she can see (and reach) the buttons from her giant Buick. I've timed people who appear to be punching all the normal buttons and it's taken them 4 minutes or more to get some cash, while it takes me all of 30 seconds. And my all-time favorite was the college-aged girl who got out of the car with a stack of at least 5 checks and proceeded to learn, most likely for the first time, how to deposit them into the machine.
 
BITCH... the bank is OPEN. WALK YOUR LAZY ASS INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
::sigh:: It's always pathetic when the quickest route to take would've been to write myself a check and have the teller at the window cash it for me. I'm all for advancing technology, but isn't the ATM supposed to be a convenience tool, made to speed up life? If you can refinance your entire house on the damn thing, maybe it's time to back it up a bit. Today's rage is fueled by the fact that I honestly needed cash for an excursion to a place we weren't sure would take any credit cards. It wasn't convenient to stop en route to work, so I tried on my lunch break. Oh, but there were 6 cars in the drive-thru. No luck. Off to The Bungalow for lunch. On the way back to work, I tried another bank. There was only one car! Yay! And they were actively pressing buttons! Super yay!
 
It's never that easy. Oh no... when the guy was finished, his 2 ratty-ass buddies jumped out of the passenger side of the car and walked over to make their own withdrawls! SERIOUSLY?!?!? No luck there either... I sped away before I was tempted to ram my SUV into the back of their beat-up Toyota with its garbage-bag-window. I had been gone from work for well over an hour at this point and was giving up. Oh, but there was another bank on the way back to work. Should I give it one more try? I definitely didn't have much faith. And that was probably a good thing to not get my hopes up... as I pulled up, there were 2 cars in line, behind the armored car, which had the entire machine in pieces on the ground. Probably because some hoodlum was trying to break into it. Maybe it's time to find a bank that's not located in the ghetto?
 
And I still don't have any frickin' cash! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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